Tuesday, January 09, 2007


i cannot believe he* called. after one whole day, a lot of things ran through my mind. as i sit here and type this, i still don't believe he called.

why didn't he call me earlier? i wanted so much to talk to him 4 months ago. i know that we can salvage the relationship then. i was on his side but now i don't know anymore. a lot of things had change.

why is he so desperate now? is it true that guys like to fight for girl that belongs to someone else? they don't really know what they really want when she is by your side, right?

why does he want to do changes only when he gets a hint he has a chance? i am so not going to tell him. can't you let go anything for the one you claim you really love? can you not just fight for her or at least show some sincerity that she is the one you want for the rest of your life?

© All rights reserved. photograph by anna.

*he = the ex bf of a friend

now all 4 of you need to sit down and think properly
1. he needs to know whether he really likes her or the other girl. you do not married someone just to patch things up.
2. she needs to know who she really love. being with the new him does not mean that you are being fair to him. love is not charity, that is why i said at many times it is beyond commitment. the latter him do not want to be your second choice, think properly who is your first choice.
3. his new girl need to decide if the guy really loves her. only she can tell. why hold on to a man whose heart is not yours?
4. to you, whatever reason you choose to start this relationship in the first place? you know there will be a storm, now is the real test. just know that whatever the outcome is... it is for the best.

sometimes we ask is relationship complicated or we complicate relationship. why don't you guys resolve things when there were much simpler? sigh. these was the route you chose to take. the next decision will lead you to quite another journey. all the best to all four of you.

she needs to know:
- i am not on anyone side. the choice is ultimately yours. i will stand by you no matter what your decision is.
- i didn't tell him* to give up or go for it eventhough i was very tempted to do so. i had learned not to intrude another person relationship. i will let both of you sort things out yourselves.

for you:
- i told him, you are a nice guy.
- if you really love her, do what you need to do.
all the text above are written by permission.


Anonymous said...

Reminds me of Alvin's, OOPS! hehe, Glenn Frey song: The One You Love.

"Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you goin' back to the one you love?
Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you
Someone's gonna thank the stars above"

But it sure sounds more complicated than the song :)

blurred esh said...

reminds me of your prev post 'Its Complicated' hehehe...


Anonymous said...

Chai Yen!! You have no idea how I found yer blog.. I was actually reading a friend's one, got another fren's link from there, read, then sa w Sophia's blog add, went and read, then saw yer link! My, my, how... complicated. Haha..

But yeah, didn't know you kept a blog as well! Keep it up, oh you really look good in the Female fashion pics! It's been awhile since we last met at BluInc. But it's cool. Hope to see ya around gal! ;)

- Deborah

chaiyen said...

shups, didn't know that song... but ya what a question.

fay, yes this is complicated but i think it will be sorted out soon. what is more challenging later to stick with the decisions.

hi deb, for soph i remembered i didn't use my link to comment? or did i? hmm... anyway yahh long time no see. how's college?

Anonymous said...

Chai Yen, Thanks for blogging my stuff.
For those of you who think this blog is complicated... well, the actual relationship is 10 times worst that how it sounded here :(
BUT... I'm over it already ;)
It's not worth my time thinking over a person who claim to love me but yet hurted me the most.
Most importantly is that I'VE MOVED ON!! Haha.
Chai Yen, i recall seeing one of your blog telling people not to use the word 'move on' on you cos it's not as easy as they say it.
Gal, trust me... when you have seriously let go a relationship, you will be pround to use this word... just like how i'm saying it now.


chaiyen said...

that is why ur the woman... and i am not hahaha. but ur so right those words are meant to be said ourself not from others on us. you go girl.

Anonymous said...

The One You Love
by: Glen Frey

I know you need a friend
Someone you can talk to
Who will understand what you're going through
When it comes to love
There's no easy answer
Only you can say what you're gonna do

I heard you on the phone
You took his number
Said you weren't alone, but you'd call him soon
Isn't he the guy
The guy who left you cryin'
Isn't the the one who made you blue

When you remember those nights in his arms
You know you've gotta make up your mind

Chorus :
Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you going back to the one you love
Someone's gonna cry when they learn they've lost you
Someone's gonna thank the stars above

What you gonna say when he comes over
There's no easy way to see this through
All the broken dreams
All the disappointments
Oh girl -- What you gonna do

Your heart keeps sayin' it's just not fair
But still you've gotta make up your mind


Alvin (It was Ps Law tat intro me to the song...heh)

chaiyen said...

what's with alvin and song lyrics nowadays. do you need a blog? ok hahahah... quite interesting lyrics, i will download the song soon. :)

blurred esh said...

hey chai yen.. yea man.. to say (or rather to type it out) is easier.. but when sticking to the decision that was made.. is the hard part.

thats when more thoughts come in.

Anonymous said...

Hi blurred esh
You are rite!! I agreed with what you've said.

He still comes back once in a while. Mostly importantly now is that i shouldn't soften my heart for him.

Sticking to the decision is the most challenging part ;)