Monday, January 08, 2007

a lesson to start the year

i was at poppy on new year's eve with my cousin's friends. dancing, drinking and counting down as usual. the normal night scene except that ppl are more active tonight than any other nights. i was sitting at one corner just observing the ppl around me, i saw ppl one by one fell around me because they were too drunk to walk. i saw guys dancing crazily and slowly made their ways close to girls to take advantage of them. but above all, this is the most captivating scene--i saw the whole process of a guy picked up a total stranger from the next table. they drank, they cheers, they laughed, they intro, they talked, they danced, their hugged, their hands all over each other, they kissed. i couldn't believe it. everyone eyes were on them. everyone is signalling to each other "free show". of course i do not need to think was the guy thinking. i was just thinking what was she thinking?

did she want to show people she is attractive and sexy? so lucky of that guy that managed to make his way to her tonight? or she is just aroused tonight, since we both need it. we can do a quick fix now.
anyway he was too drunk to talk to her later, he just sat there in pain while she goes back to her group. they didn't even get each other contact... so that's it huh? i have to say i think this is worst than a player. this is really getting a prostitute for a night isn't it? anyway, i heard that things like that happened all the time but this is the first time i see it right before my eyes. honestly i still cannot believe it.

the question to myself is, will i one day actually end up there? i mean how can i be in the world and not of the world? how do i spent my time with my friends and not be part of that cultural?

For since the the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, because although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their follish hearts were darkened... (romans1.20-21)
And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledgee, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things that are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness,... who, knowing the righteous judgement of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.(romans1.28-32)

what is the deciding factor?
the moment i struggle but i accept them and not condemn them that is showing grace.
the moment i struggle but still sin that is asking for mercy.
the moment i no longer struggle but accept all these as normal that is when i approve of it.
the moment i no longer struggle but doing because everyone is doing it that is when i am not apologetic about it.

i do not pray that you should take them out of the world, but that you should keep them from the evil one.. and for their sakes i sanctify myself, for they also may be sanctified by the truth. (john17.15-19)

sanctify = free of sin

if i want to hangout with the wolves i need to be strong in the truth. i am doing the book of romans, desiring to understand the real meaning of salvation in depth and hopefully from there as well grasp how i can be in the world and yet not of the world.

it is just a train of thoughts. for now don't worry hehehe, i am going out with friends that really take care of me... they always make sure how much i can drink, they do not simply put their hands around me and they make sure i get home safely.


Anna-Rina said...

Wahlao eh, if i was there i would've shouted at the top of my voice, "YOU THINK THIS IS TITIWANGSA ISSIT??!?!? GET A ROOM LAAA!!"

chaiyen said...

hahahhahaa... sorry we are too shock already to say anything. the guys there are just wishing they are the guy in his place.