Friday, April 28, 2006

i gambled

yesterday i make my first entry into the casino in genting highland. my dad was my tour guide. he brought me from table to table telling me 'about the game', 'how to bet' and 'how to win'. it almost felt like a master discipling the next


('the' removed, sounds better)
my confession, i gambled. not only today but i do. i play mahjong with some of my friends like twice a month. i feel very skillful when i win and of course i enjoy the conversation that exploded in the course of that game. i believe that gambling is not a sin. it is mere foolishness if we are to spend all our hard earn money in it. therefore i think we should not confuse new believers like my mum 'i thought we cannot gamble? i told your aunties the other day and they got so angry i became a christian'.

anyway life is a gamble in itself.
1. all the TIME you put into something that you hope to see results you desire but it doesn't necessary happen. it always happen to the person next to you. those who doesn't need the money. that is when you learn that life is not fair but you are still in the game.
2. you sulk but the more you sulk the more you lose. if you keep a good spirit luck might turn around (i haven't master this yet).
3. one more thing you learn, you never say 'I REGRET' when you lose because you already make the choice when you enter the game.

i will introduce to you now the biggest gambler, JESUS CHRIST. crazy as He is, HE first chooses to die for you and me even though we haven't choose to believe in Him.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

new calling

there is something about 2am, it is always life changing.

when i lost all hope of what is my purpose.
when i feel that i have no one to love anymore.
when i feel that there is no more calling worth living.

i suddenly have my calling redefine.

few days ago i didn't know this is where i am heading.
few days ago i couldn't put to word what God is calling me to do.
few days ago i didn't know why i am starting a blog.

i had heard the cry of authenticity but nobody is going to show it. this is my experiment, i will start blogging the most transparent* christian life. in favour as well to me wanting to remove the mask that i had been hiding behind. the fact is i believe in God. it doesn't mean i condone everything i am about to share but he is still God not because i am a good believer. i want to see how this will change my life.

watch out for the next blog you will be reading.

*transparency is everything that does not intrude the privacy of another. therefore there will still be limitation in my sharing.
**you are free to give your comments or even disagree with my views. you might change my views as many had in my life. in fact if you don't change mine. i am changing yours.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

love language

While visiting winnie's blog i was reminded i wanted to know my love language for quite a while. sorry i am so blur that i didn't know that there is such a category 'quality time'. no wonder i could never properly put to word what i want.

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:  10
Acts of Service:  6
Words of Affirmation:  6
Receiving Gifts:  5
Physical Touch:  3

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.
Take the quiz

the unknown

After reading these books, Disappointment with God by yancey and Problem with Pain by lewis. i realised that there are a lot of books written in attempt to answer this big question.

why do GOD let me go through pain?

i have to say really that had never been my type of question. i do not understand but i do not seek to understand because if God wants me to know He will reveal it to me. it doesn't mean i want to have a blind faith. what i am saying is that beyond the necessity there are a lot of things that we do not need to know. for example i do not need to know how i will be resurrected, how does God judge those who haven't hear the gospel, where does evil come from, why does He allow earthquake.

"I heard all this plainly enough, but I didn't understand it. So I asked, "Master, can you explain this to me?'
"'Go on about your business, Daniel,' he said. 'The message is confidential and under lock and key until the end, until things are about to wrapped up...
"And you? Go about your business without fretting or worrying. Relax. When it's all over, you will be on your feet to receive your reward."
(Daniel 12:9-13, The Message)

therefore i am trying to learn this too in other area of my life. that i do not need to understand everything and everyone. not everything has a meaning in it and not everyone wants to give an answer. maybe it is meant to be a mystery. till they reveal themselves at the right time if ever.

life, isn't it interesting?

But he's already made it plain how to live, what to do,
what God is looking for in men and women.
It's quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbour,
be compassionate and loyal in your love,
and don't take yourself too seriously - take God seriously.
(Micah 6:8, The Message)

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

why do i want to start blogging?

01: i no longer share life with another therefore the liberty to share not fearing that i interfere with another privacy and pride.
02: many from the little island on the south had demand for more emails and i guess i do not need to wait anymore till i have a life changing event to type one. save me the time from sharing about 9 months ago when we meet.
03: blogging in machamps had definitely trigger some interest.
04: to overcome my fear for bad command in english is to face it. cheaper than going for class.
05: my new attempt to learn html since i am 25 and my bro said that even 5 years old can do it.
06: hopefully people will really know me as i am.
07: for someone.

* honestly i do not know why i want to start blogging, maybe it is not even any of the above. i guess something new in life always keeps you excited.

the magic

There is this magic that we cannot understand
The magic that makes a couple attracted to one another
The magic that makes a friendship blossom
The magic that makes a cell grow
The magic that cause a project to flow
The magic that cause a journey to be enjoyable

That very magic, is chemistry
It is not skill or capability
It is not sincerity or desire
It is not even wisdom
It is a kind of magic
A magic that God releases only as He will

It can happen once and happen again
It can happen again and again
It can don't happen at all
There is no technique to it
Totally mysterious, totally in His hands

* This is when you learn you can never fully comprehend this God and this world