Monday, May 15, 2006

it is unfair to be a woman, but i am proud to be

Your desire should be for your husband, and he shall rule over you. Genesis 3.16

An unmarried woman or virgin is concern about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7.35

i always ask myself is that really a woman fate, to please her husband. is that the cause of building a home, when a woman have to shelf all their passion and dreams. isn't that a bit unfair? i guess ps lee choo's message yesterday digged on this issue again.

'if a husband leaves a wife, he literally kills her because she loses her identity, security, hopes...'

there are two ways to build a marriage to me:
1. breaking your life down to my marriage, my career, my friends, my children, my dreams
2. a marriage that we will build our children, friends and dreams together

i know actually i can keep myself away from being hurt if i don't give my all when i am in a relationship. keep the rest in a different compartment, at least i will still have things i can hold on to when either one fail. i couldn't probably because my concept of marriage is the latter option.

i had no desire to be big evangelist like kathryn kuhlman who can not keep both her husband to stand by her because she is too powerful for them to handle, nor do i want to be that woman that sits on the top of a corporate ladder running a million dollar company. i am happy for any woman that made it there, not sure why i do not desire to be there myself.

so here i share my ambition which might not sound very ambitious to many (one which is pretty much the opposite of what everyone thinks of me), i desire to be that woman that stays at home, stands by my man while he conquers the world, keeping the home a comfortable place for him to come back to. together we raise up kids building a beautiful legacy for them. i had failed in so many relationships and i fear i can never make it to be that selfless person in a relationship. but everytime i look at the faces of these women ps nina, ps julie, ps fei fei... and of course my beloved mum; i can imagine how they can many times feel lonely, rejected, forgotten, misunderstood and even stupid for giving their all. but that same faces give me hope it is possible.


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