Sunday, February 04, 2007

word study 1: romantic

ro·man·tic [roh-man-tik] adjective

to her:
doing something out of a norm to express your love for her. can be small little things like an sms in the middle of the day.

to him:
going to the extreme length to do something that may seems impractical to a guy just to fulfill the childhood fantasy of a girl. just by doing that, to a guy it doesn't make him feel that he cares any more for a girl.

why do guys never bother to be that romantic guy
myth 1: because they think that small little things are not in the bracket of romantic. so they drop it. they think that girls don't notice and won't appreciate small things like that.
myth 2: because to them to plan something romantic takes effort and extreme is difficult. so it takes them quite a while to plan them. and a while took too long and they forgetten about it.
myth 3: they don't think that it is necessary to be continuously romantic. after one year of relationship, you ought to know he loves you.

the truth is girls
1. just want to know that someone care for them.
2. just want to see some action to the 'i love you'.
3. just want to know that someone think of them.

i never understand why guys hate that word romantic and girls love it. now i know... they have a different understanding of it. today i care to find out from a guy, actually i pleaded him to tell me. sometimes i wonder why they never want to help us understand them. i hope this entry help you girls understand why they always think it is too much to ask for. i mean it makes sense. but i hope it clarifies to guys what we girls mean as well, we weren't asking for the moon probably just the moonlight. it is only outside my house.

i have to say i was pretty hurt when i tried explaining once to a guy and all he said is "don't say it is just the small things you wanted, it is all the same things." it does make us girls a bit shallow. as if we are not mature enough to handle this thing call love, like we need the pills of romantic to fix us. to be fair, this blog entry has at least half of those small little things. let me count 3, 4, 6, 11, 12, 13, 16, 17, 19, 20. ok i even removed no. 8, considering probably making your way to my house require quite an effort. is that really too much to ask for? if all these mean a lot because you are just my fix for my insecurity. woe to me... i am such an insecure woman, that i need you to tell me i am beautiful. we are made this way. why don't you think, just like you want us to say "you are the man" "i believe in you", we just want to hear "i love you" says differently. when we see the romantic act, trust us we smile because it is from you not because it is from any other person.

i watched a very romantic movie, the notebook. it reminds me of 50 first dates. does such love exist? a man reminding a girl everyday that he still loves her. why would he bother since she can't remember it the next day? i guess it means a lot everytime for him to let her know he loves her.


Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

Ok, fair's the little things that count, cos they are "out of the blue"

But wat abt the mundane and caring things that guys do all the time?

Husband waking early to send the wife and children to work and school "EVERYDAY"??

Husbands working their socks off EVERYDAY to make sure that the wife can stay at home to look after the kids and the kids can have a happy home with a good education.

Guy offering to pick the gal up when she can jolly well go to the date venue herself?

Guy making effort to send gal back everytime??

Offer to buy food for the gal when she is sick?

Sometimes, these things that guys do all the time gets overlooked...cos they are always done and are not something done "out of the blue" it becomes an expectation...then an obligation...then it is just something done tat is unappreciated.

All bcos it is done without a bouquet of flowers accompanying it, with Barry Manilow in the background and with whiney tone in the guys voice saying how much he cares... Unromantic indeed...

Wat do gals want, a charming guy? One who says the right things, does the right stuff? Or one who cares in the mundane and ordinary??


Anonymous said...

a: it will not unnoticed la.. I'm sure. Tell yourself that's enough though and you may find yourself in trouble once in a while, then again, girls are not so stupid to not know the extra mile guys go through, yet stupid enough to buy in a little explanation.

It's not that hard. You'll see when u get your gal :)

And get your own blog!

chaiyen said...

at first, he didn't want to say anything. then he decide he wants to.

btw all those things listed are pretty romantic to me. but yes in case we are blind. you can just list all these things on a note and say "i did all this because i love you". instead of scream on me "what else you expect????!!!" yah you know which one make me feel more special.

Sam said...


Guys should always love more.


shups! said...


retiredpainter said...

I am amazed at your efficiacy in blogging. I must really applaud you gals *impressed* Must blog it before the inspiration dies down ya! haha steady

But from the look of it, the idea still hasn't really gotten across. I suspect it never really will. I belong to the energy-conserving lot, I have already given up on attempts to allow the other gender to understand our side of the story even more. The more I try/say, the more often I hear these, "BUT I really dun understand!!!!"

As the man has read it out on my uob lady's card last night in the midst of the discussion, "the men don't get it".

O well.. =)

Anonymous said...

"a" sounds sore and unappreciated :p

Heheh... maybe there is a way to work things out both ways.

ok so we gals learn we must EXPRESS our appreciation and not take things for granted. (So does saying "thank you" help? Or must we gush and be grateful with tears in our eyes? :p)
If we take things for granted and become unappreciative, it's our bad la.

But think of romanticism as dessert, the icing on the cake...
Providing for the family, being responsible the main meal, the staple. That something more, but it makes a difference.

But actually i think the sore point for some guys is not the act of doing something romantic but that of being unappreciated, of that what is done is "not good enough"

But both ways, i think guys and gals want to delight the other party and be delighted in. Just that the expression of giving and receiving is a little different.

-the other gal at the table sun night

deJelly said...

romantic.. i think some guys these days are begining to appreciate romance more... esp with more ppl are hooked on drama series.. there's bound to be a certain level of romance in those.

With that said, it wouldn't hurt for girls to be romantic to guys as well.. hehehe..

= P