Sunday, June 17, 2007

spouse materials

your spouse materials depends on your pattern of thoughts. a follow up study of the word compatible and suitability

most ppl in the world will choose:
1. someone very similar to them
= compatible
eg: both of us love watching movies, very patience, hate cooking and love kids.
- how come you feel in love? this is easy, the feeling of this person is like your soul mate, thinking like you and doing everything you like to do. it is super logic you can love this person.
- when does it normally happen? you normally know this person for a short period of time. it is a kin feeling.
- why would you marry this person? it seems like no one need to make any adjustments at all. sounds pretty ideal.
- what to look out for? it will come a point that both of you will struggle over your similarity. eg. two of you are very accomodating, then it will goes "you decide where to eat", "no, you decide. i don't know where you want to go", "i also dunno, you decide pls"... and it drags for one hour till they come to a conclusion. i think you don't need me to tell you how irritating this can get if you need to decide on your wedding day stuff, the things you shop for, your new house and so on. in long term one of you might turn up to be the person that is more dominant. so pls don't hate that, in a way he is force to do so. someone need to fill in the gap to make it works.

2. someone totally the opposite of them
= suitable
eg: he loves cooking, she loves cleaning the house (washing the dishes); he is patience, she is kan chiong, he loves western food, she loves local food
- how come you feel in love? it is like you are experiencing something new, something you had never experience before till you meet this person. this person shows you another side of the world. there seems to be no similarity and it doesn't make sense at all why you will choose this person. you cannot reason why, that is why you conclude this is love.
- when does it normally happen? normally you will hate the person in beginning and love them after a period of time. you will actually see how another person do things that are not normally your ways, see it works and grow to have respect for this person.
- why would you marry this person? living life with this person is so exciting, you feel that you are bringing the best out of each other.
- what to look out for? needless to say both of you will go through quite a bit of storm because you never understand why this person behave the way you will never. the main thing to remember is, REMEMBER this is what you love about this person. so instead of saying "she is egoistic" try to remember "she is passionate". instead of saying "he is slow" try to remember "he is a slow and steady person". soon, you will realised that both of you become more and more like each other. and then you will begin to love and appreciate each other more. also don't hate that change because life is a journey, we all change everyday whether we choose to or not.

sometimes we wonder do we choose to love someone or we choose someone we can love. most of us choose the latter but still later come to realised actually there is no one easy to love. in a way no one deserve our love but that is love isn't it? of course there is no right or wrong but i personally think that man and women are meant to be different. to me a compatible person qualify to be my best friend, but to find someone so different from you yet you can still feel such high esteem for this person that is suitability. that is why, my best friend can be my boyfriend but not all my best friend can be my boyfriend.

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