more than finishing the race but the journey

the year is coming to an end, people are beginning to ask me how is my year.

i used to feel that God allowed me to go through a lot of test of persistent. i was almost sure that i will pull through every time because all i need to do is beat my physical body to do it. determination is a virtue to me, call me stubborn if you want to but if that is really what i want, i rarely give it up for the sake of pain. i mean man of honour is one of my favourite movie, finishing the journey is part of the happy ending i embrace.

the greater test has not come till this year when i had to deal with people more than i ever deal with in my entire life. just when i thought i had master how to do life, which of course is never the plan God had for me; it got harder. when i realised that it is no longer about my persistent to make things right, it is no longer about my desire to see friendships work out, it is no longer about how i change to make myself more lovable. it is painful yet beautiful to know that all we can be is to begin to love who we are and except people as they are.

i really know God as a relationship God this year. in a race we hurt some, step on some feets, see some too tired to run anymore, see some sitting injured at the side of the road. i am not meant to run alone, that is an easy race to run. hopefully to see when we pass the finish line we are not a bitter, lonely person.

for some of you that were in the journey camp you will remember that beutiful moment after all of us passed the finish line. to look at the end of the road, a group of them carrying back our injured brother. when all of us clapped and cheered them on to the finish line. there were not running, it is no longer about the race anymore but slowly step by step... they walked and walked pass that line. i don't know how to say it better but like band of brothers, with tears on our eyes we can hug each other... it was a tough journey but we had finished it. smiles on our face because no offence matter anymore, we had saved each other lives, we had stayed with each other and now it is finish.

with that picture at the end in mind, love and grace i believe will help me overcome all broken relationships. without hardship there is no depth in our friendship. i will see you at the end, i promise. i will not rest till i make peace with everyone. so the end of this year is not the end at all because this is my journey, love you all.