Thursday, September 07, 2006

scar: the visible and not visible

e: i hope the blood test comes back with good results
cy: actually i want it to be health problem. then he will give me some pills and fix that. if not i will have to go through another test... he will put a scope into my knee and take some tissues inside to check what's wrong.
e: ouch... that sounds painful
cy: hope the result of this blood test will be positive. i don't want another scar on my knee
e: another?
cy: yah i got a lot of scars on my body and legs hahahahah

this leads to a new train of thoughts.
from birth
birth mark on my forehead

3 years old
sitches on my forehead. when my auntie pulled me to go upstairs, i refused bang to the edge of the stairs handle
4 years old
sitches on my eye brow. house renovation... the carpet rolled up. i jumped across and around it... then bang i knocked the glass door
5 years old
stiches on my chin. i didn't bring my swimsuit on swimming day in pre school. i still want to walk around the pool so i slipped.

one for every year. i got slightly better after that.

about 9 years old
a burn scar on my leg. i was waiting for my school bus then i was standing very near a bike. the exhaust pipe is still burning hot and a touch is enough.
12 years old
a tattoo on my hand. shortly after i take my BCG shot, someone accidentally pushed me and it hit the door. the started to grow a little and of course my itchy hand didn't help.
14 years old
hurt both side of my legs while i was walking home from school then i wrongly estimate, i fell into the big longkang. my dad always tease me "must be looking at guys, that is why you didn't keep your eyes on the road."

scars on my physical body had cause me to feel insecure a lot of time but at least i know about it and i know how to face it. sometimes i wonder how many wounds and scars are on my heart that are still affecting what i am doing today. people say "it is a matter of time, wound will heal" but i am beginning to think likewise because these scars had never leave me.


Sam said...

Scars never ever leave. Thats why its a scar.

Some people say its nice to have many scars.

But I think when you have that many, it aint funny at all.


Lets just hope our scars would not cause tears as we look at them.

Maybe thats just enough for us.

Cause it surely hurts.


blurred esh said...

hmm.. what if we change the word 'scar' to 'tattoo'.. would it give a different impression?

cuz tattoo is seen as an art.. and to some, a tattoo is like a reminder of a phase of life that they've gone thru - and what they've learn from it for them to share it out.

[ well... i've always wanted to get a tattoo art.. *grin* ]

chaiyen said...

didn't know you are so wild girl, tattoo :)

yahh sam i meant the wound never leave me.... it left scars that still remain. along the years it didn't fade off either.

retiredpainter said...

hi babe, scars on your face ain't obvious at all. you're still very chio. dun worry abt 'em ;) i wldn't even notice if you hadn't mention.

i've some scars both visible/non-visible as well. to me, scars are what's left behind after the wound has healed. perhaps each scar tells a different story, sets a specific reminder but the pain's no longer there.

hope the knee's feeling better!

blurred esh said...

*alamaks* not wild la.. just.. erm.. mischievious.. ;o)

Jon Ng said...

"Scarred for life,
No compensation...."

-Private Investigation, Dire Straits-