Saturday, September 02, 2006

i wanted to be with you

i remember when i was kid. i did things that i never really like - football, colour marbles, eraser with the countries' flags - just to be with people. i will get extremely sad when they see me coming and leave me alone there to play other things. i didn't want to play with those stuff, i just wanted to be with them.

many will be surprise to hear me do sports because that is not who i am. swimming, running, climbing... as you know i rather sleep than to sweat. all that for the company.

i would love to travel and see the world. i thought that is totally romantic but if not with him what is the kick. i am not the kind of girl that will backpack and rough it all out in an alien country all by myself. yes, the bangkok and hong kong trips. all that for the company.

i would rather work, watch dvds and eat dinner at home. but i wanted some new colleague, ppl to laugh at me when i cry in the movies and talk to me during dinner. all that for the company.

then i wonder maybe things don't change much as you grow up, eventhough the manner change. therefore i do get sad still when ppl leave me alone to play with my things, i was here for the company. i am not sure if you understand me. it is not 'peer pressure'. i didn't come and join you so that i can feel 'in'. i walked out of my comfort zone so that i can spent some time with you. there are still days i drag to do those things i don't like to do and wish you will go and "watch ballet with me". but you are worth my time and i learn to enjoy those things, also maybe there are not too many things i like to do anyway.

DISCLAIMER: ballet is not my cup of tea, i took that phrase from the break-up. i just meant doing things i like to do. it makes me feel extremely special when you go out of your way to do things i like to do. is this a girl thing again?



ballet is good..every little girl should have a chance to learn it..

Zoe said...

So true.. All for company sake.. I think i can relate to that

chaiyen said...

i don't have a chance to learn ballet. but i am pretty fine with that :)

zoe, i always felt that you don't really like to go out. i mean you are pretty comfortable to be at home. but from your blog i can see that you had been making a lot of effort to be with people. that is really nice. i am sure you enjoy that.

soolin said...

i can relate to that too...

love reading ur blog, u r so real, btw i am shups!'s fren and got to know ur blog from hers.