Monday, October 29, 2007

to know and not to know

Laws are there to keep men and women not only from hurting the one they hate but from hurting the one they love.
ps lee choo quoted today in her message.

i love to torture myself emotionally. now that im not in a relationship, i want to cry for the pain of others. im almost sure now that movies do not increase my fantasy of a perfect charming prince. it only brings the bar lower because with the mess in series nowadays, you can be sure im almost numb to all these things like betrayal, lies and disappointment. and i mean not in movies too.

In general, people can be categorized in one of two ways. Those who love surprises and those who don't. I... Don't. I've never met a surgeon who enjoys a surprise because as surgeons we like to be in the know. We have to be in the know because when we aren't people die and lawsuits happen. Am I rambling? I think I'm rambling. Okay so my point actually, and I do have one, has nothing to do with surprises or death or lawsuits or even surgeons. My point is this... Whoever said what you don't know can't hurt you was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the WORST feeling in the world... As surgeons we have to be in the know, but as human beings sometimes it's better to stay in the dark. Because in the dark there may be fear, but there is also hope.
meredith grey, grey's

if someone doesn't like you, would you rather know or not? to know, be hurt, rejected and get over it. or to live in denial with a glimpse of hope. i mean what if the person has been the reason you wake up each morning, the reason you fight for your career, the reason why you be that better person you became. i know everyone will think it is pure stupidity to live in this denial. but what if it is pure selfishness not only to not let the person go but also not to let go of everything else that this person cause you to achieve as well. provided of course you never know the truth.

if i am married to him, i never want to know a day that he doesn't love me. just keep it to himself those days he doesn't. i will not want to check if there is another woman, just dont let me bump into them on the street. but if im not married, i guess still not to know is better than knowing because the pain-of-not-knowing i believe is not as painful as the pain-of-rejection. even though some part of me always wish to know the unknown but i finally concluded definitely it is better not to know.

on a second thought the truth hurts but it is better to know as well. nevermind, i dont really know what i want. don't try to figure me out. so you pick your choice, i shall learn to handle both wisely :)

why did i write that? i dunno. maybe i was just trying to make a point that we never really like what happened, we always think that we could have handle the other options better. come on girl, handle everything thrown at you.


Anonymous said...

I just want to be able to read minds. That's all I ask. Haha... that's why my favourite Heroes hero is the policeman.

Of cuz, I find him kinda chubby cute too :p

chaiyen said...

know without having it said? ermm kind of good so i think in a way the relationship wouldnt be hurt because you can pretend you dont know. hahaha. sound like a plan. kill my curiousity and live in denial if i dont like the facts :)