when busy get crazy

from today till next weekend:

4 WEDDINGS AND HAPPENINGS
1. i have two weddings to attend
2. guide two couples thru their wedding planning/program
3. design a wedding invite and lots of prep for another wedding

COLLEGE
4. webpage design: convert at least 3 pages of my artwork to dreamweaver
5. 1 minute flash video: suppose to complete all my frames. 20 frame per second means 1200 frames (faint!)

WORK
6. half a magazine to do
7. proposal for a coffee table book
8. 3 other small jobs to follow up

FRIENDS
9. 2 different friends from singapore that i really want to meet up

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sorry, there are just so many thing... i need to list it down to decide which to do first. the funny thing is, none of it is a chore. i am looking forward to do all of it, i only wish i have more than a week to do all this. now BREATHE.

commitment

u know how guys always accuse of not being able to stay in a decent relationship for long. sometimes i wonder is it us or them. i wonder if we over read those signs or they are in denial of those fact.

read more.

cigar, baileys and some music

this valentines, i spend the night with these ppl...

these are just some of the boys from the cell i had been faithfully attending. forgive us if we all look like AA group. we r all fella ragamuffins in the pursuit of righteousness.

when we are not drinking and puffing... we are all really nice ppl. these really sweet boys actually prepared dinner for us girls that night. they started at the market at 8am and when on preparing till 7.30pm, you wont believe how much food they prepared.



yum yum... cigar chocolate.

happy valentines day

you have shop all the malls for weeks and still cannot find that gift. dont try, boys are boys. a gift is a gift to them. they wont care you walk the whole singapore to find that present. they wont care you burn a hole in your wallet for it. do one of this instead, they will not complain no matter how bad the final outcome look. plus... they will be so proud of you because they cant imagine themselves coming down to doing this paperwork it.

zipangu

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they dont have as wide variety but the quality of their food is superb--talk about fresh. plus all the above already made me walked away really really full. the most important point though is... i have 50% discount card. anyone want to buy me lunch? :)

a true story

there is something so beautiful about each of our story, that no great writer can churn out except for the one true Author. that shouldnt surprise you why so many of my favourites are based on true stories.


(1999)


(2000)


(2002)


(2005)


(2008)


movies like these make something in my heart ticks. it is the when fact--that one person can really make a difference--and reality kiss. i believe it is a combination of the price of integrity, the perseverance of the rejected, the unswerving faith and hope. yes, it does mean i wet my whole shirt watching them.

do you believe we exist for so much more? do you actually believe each of us have a story the world is waiting to hear?

i miss planning weddings

i miss planning weddings.

it is about running my fingers through those pretty heavy white satin gowns, seeing the bride-to-be fit nicely in it. all about choosing the theme, the cards--the papers and envelopes, the flowers and deco, the wedding flavours, seeing everything fall nicely in place in that ballroom, the rehearsals, the guest list, the final outcome of it, the couple walking down the aisle and them walking back to their room that night. tired but very satisfying.

my girl is back

my cutie girl is back.


her parents have very small eyes, looking at their photos she thought smiling-till-you-cant-see-your-eyes is the way to go. reminds me of dejelly




so happen, my boy is staying over at my place for the weekend. so i arranged a play date. they started with a shy "hi" and ended with a big hug. oh yahh plus the unending names calling session "bye, char-lotte", "bye, sam-uel", "bye-bye, char-lotte"...

how ru feeling today?

my next project's moodboard -- vintage and grunge mood

stages of life

Moses spent forty years thinking he was somebody.

He spent the next forty years learning he was nobody.

He spent the last forty years discovering what God can do with a nobody.


D.L. Moody


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i thought i knew it all. i thought i know how to love God, master my work and figure this thing call relationship. the funny thing about it, the more i learn, then more i realise how much i do not know. today im in a position of weakness, not trying to be humble. almost embarrass to say this but seriously... i cant get anything right in my life.

what do teens ask nowadays?

juno: I'm losing my faith in humanity.
dad: Think you can narrow it down for me?
juno: I guess I wonder sometimes if people ever stay together for good.
dad: You mean like couples?
juno: Yeah, like people in love.

money can't buy love

there is this myth that the more extravagant your wedding day and guest list is, the lower the chance of divorce. it is said that couple that made their vow in the midst of many witnesses feel a greater responsibility to sustain their marriage.

hollywood celebrities took it really seriously. with wedding gown that cost more than a regular wedding in malaysia (i havent even convert the exchange rates), flowers that can buy two houses in pj (after converting it should come out to about 6 houses), and yes it shouldnt surprise you they burn-away 150,000 on fireworks.

but looks like the thread is strong enough to keep the dress together but not the marriage, not only that, the most expensive wedding in hollywood seems to be one of the shortest living marriage. 40 percent of the couples from that list ultimately split.

my best wishes to my two most beloved couples Beckham-Victoria and Tom-Katie. may your friendship last and may you both spur each other towards strong family and marriage.

same beginning, different ending

two boys born on the same day, met their girl under the same scenario and both relationship took a different path. have you ever wonder where your relationship will land at if you had done it differently? if you had shared more, if things had not been left like that, if things had been less complicated. the worst had hit on them again and again. which i dont see it as a tragedy, it only makes the ending so much more meaningful. a line in the lyrics struck me how often in relationship we beat around the bush and end up at the same place. there is something about perseverance in relationship, achievements and dreams that never fail to wet my eyes.

am never a fan of tvb series, they suck big time especially in the romance department. for that simple fact their relationship are normally so surface, i barely feel chemistry between the couple most of the time. i did the usual thing passing by my big living room to get to my room, but this time i stopped there. i didnt just stop there, i stayed up till 6am that day itself. probably because of the japan snowy white backdrop, maybe because of the two sweet couples too. i couldnt stop, it is like i want to know what happen after he makes the call, after he leaves that voice mail, after she drops that note. rumours has it that kevin and niki had been in a relationship, i hope that is not true since i dont like the "had been". i hope that the chemistry in that movie is actually real and not just mere acting. yah... hope... because it is just rare to see such sweetness. you just have to see the way they hold each other. it makes you go "awww..."

james and cissie's wedding

i was recruited last minute to just help lindy cordinate the wedding and liaise all her deco. i like their venue though it is quite far way. the place is so serene :)

new year resolution

i dont normally have a habit of setting resolutions. but i come to realise i fail to achieve much the last few years. so here is just a random list-of-things-i-want-to-attain this year.

1. reactivate the phone line with God. do devotion daily and start journaling once more
2. copy notes during church service again
3. start reading again. would like to begin with completing odyssey and tale of two cities from last year
4. run twice a week (after i buy my shoes)
5. go for at least one beach and another city holiday
6. watch more movies
7. do better in college
8. work harder, earn more money
9. save my targeted amount
10. stay carefree

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several of my spa beauticians told me the last few days that i have high tolerance for pain. maybe because to me, physical pain is always more bearable than emotional pain. at least that was how i comfort myself the other day when i had a very bad stomach ache due to diarrhoea. it was so painful, the worst i ever felt, i started tearing and curling up myself. amidst that i had a conversation with HIM:
cy: God this is the most terrible pain i ever had... can u take it away.
GOD: you mean more painful than heartache?
cy: ohhh yahh... no, that is worst. suddenly i think this is more bearable. put me to sleep and make me well after i wake up, i've got loads of work to finish up. (i took some pills, doss off and really woke up well)

if i were a boy

im hooked to this song and this music video tells the songs very well.

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the mornin
And throw on what I wanted and go
drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick with who I wanted
And I'd never get confonted for it
Cause they stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they think that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home

[Chorus]

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand (Yeah you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

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it is funny that i have christmas party on the 24th and 26th. while i spent almost the whole christmas day at home. maybe that is a good reminder that christmas is not about parties but HIM. meantime... im a bit overdosed with holidays and this festive season is really not helping. work is piling up and i aint doing anything... you get my point.

attention!

19 - 23 DECEMBER: BANGKOK

24 - 26 DECEMBER: KL
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24 dec: dinner at Paige's place, party at Sherelyn's place
25 dec: church service in the morning...
26 dec: Kevin's place

27 DECEMBER - 2 JANUARY: SINGAPORE
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27 dec:
28 dec: youth service (i cant remember what time)
29 dec:
30 dec:
1 jan: cousin's wedding dinner
2 jan: driving back from singapore

A NOTE TO THE SINGAPOREANS
meant to meet this group of ppl, if u all make it one of those dates up there. let me know.
1. elaine (PIC), shups and girls - we can have a girly night out
2. alvin (PIC), ps and the whole gang, i would like to join if there is any new year's eve gathering or dinner.
3. bong n howe

*ppl above, pls let me know soon when ur free so i can block those dates. if ur not in this list, i just am not sure who is free to meet me with such short notice. give me a buzz.

jealousy

it really depends how much i like you. or maybe how much i think i have you. unless of course im super certain that you are all mine, the insecurity part of me always struggle with this little thing called jealousy. i might not do anything about it, i might not even tell you i feel that because seriously i dont really like that part of me. still this is something i have been trying to work through all these years but mostly fall flat on. of course there are a ransom one or two relationships that i dont feel like that, but on most of those occasions that guy normally took over that role. meaning that he would be rather possessive and jealousy would be his middle name. selfishly, i prefer that. at least i feel that the poison is not in me.

recently, as most of you know im not in a relationship. and so why should this issue bother me at all? it disturbs me, because i kinda get jealous over guys that doesnt even belong to me in the first place. of course it didnt affect me a lot because i dont even know who i like exactly. but the the next thing troubles me even more when i start to realise that i get busy even about what other girlfriends think about me. i really believe that these girls are a lot cooler than that, but some part of me think that their glare says something, that them intercepting into those conversations mean something more than just coincidence, that their girls after all and every girl gets jealous somewhat. not wanting any girl to even start feeling uncomfortable with me. most of the time i just try not to talk to much to those guys.

i seriously think that there is this little voice that always put crazy thoughts like this into me. so nowadays, i try not to entertain those thoughts. i start reminding myself not to think so much, and that favourite phrase works pretty well "if it is mine, it will be mine". probably i dun even want to start any relationship until i totally overcome this sickening trade, but will i ever? i hope so. i hope one day love will help me break free. this probably sums up how i look at potential candidate for now though. refusing to think or excite myself too much... if it is mine, it is mine. so i chant.

selfish indulgence

my jacket went europe without me. yes, she took the flight *jealous*. well at least she brought this back for me. :)



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just found out yesterday that some ppl actually consider traveling as a selfish indulgence. i have to say, i havent learn about traveling until i went to singapore. most young adult singaporean go for at least one holiday a year. never thought that i will use my hard earn money on any of these trips. but seriously it is getting a bit addictive; after every country you go, you feel like you can conquer a far greater one next round. it keeps you excited and gives you a reason to work. i dont shop a lot so i guess i deserve some pampering for my hard work. incidentally, im one darn singaporean... so maybe it just runs in the blood.

a romantic affair

the MIFA runway, lights and dresses left me somewhat dreamy. in the midst of very sophisticated faces which i so often see only in magazine, plus free flow of sparkling shiraz and wisky coke probably contributed to that feeling. it is about 1.30am and i make my way back, the sound of raindrops keep me company. after a hot shower, probably the next best thing to do is tuck myself in bed.

but it is friday night, and i dont want to just do the next best thing. im in a mood for a slow, catchy romance. and i got that spot on from my blueberry nights. check that web link, let those soundtracks play for a bit and you will understand what i mean. some ppl think wong kar wai's movies are pretty slow, remember im somewhat tipsy so the pace was just nice for me. couldnt resist jude law, he is not that great looking but always find him charming. a player real life (or so i heard), i know why he can be one. the way he stares at another girl, the way he runs his finger through the hair, such a killer. he can sweeps any girls' feet of the ground. i believe all that comes in natural, he wasnt just acting. love the music, angles, story line and babes. hypnotise by that kiss right there. now really wish i can do a movie journal.

movies like this can make us fall in love with love all over again. somehow recent affairs seem to be nurturing my heart back to love... do you think he is around the corner?