new life old shit

a month ago i took a break from blogging, you can call that fasting from blogging. once a while you just need to stop doin what you always do so that you know why you do what you do. i had already decided i want to focus on my own life. i was beginning to enjoy singlehood again and the company of friends around me. works had been coming in and everything looks good.

as of this morning, i wanted to wake up and brag about my new life. then shit happens, as they always do. always faster than i hope. as if happiness cannot meet the morning sun, they always go.

1. I HATE IT when i always share so much with ppl. i felt that there is a necessity to be transparent with my friends, for the sake of bonding or to liberate each other. again and again being betrayed. taking the courage to share again is no joke. still i had always choose to share.
2. I HATE IT when they do not ask my permission before speaking for me. as if they know everything about me. more so she didn't even tell me before or after.
3. I HATE IT even more when they misquote and misrepresent me. i always get this. a torn in my flesh.
4. I HATE IT after his friends does it, my friend needs to do the same stupid thing. AND I SWEAR IN MY LIFE never to be in between other ppl relationship.
5. I HATE IT having warned her not to say or do anything stupid, she did. promises don't mean a thing out there.
6. I HATE IT i was the one that brought the two of them together and then i became the excuse for them to meet.
7. I HATE IT that he called. it doesn't matter he is not friendly but he needs to come in between my other friendship.
8. I HATE IT he talked to 1001 unrelated ppl about this, and i never had the rights to speak for myself.
9. I HATE IT because he again and again destroys the little that i have.
10. I HATE IT he never once feel sorry about it. never once apologise for it. if there is such thing as kharma, in my previous life i must had owed him my life so now i'm repaying my debts.

suppose to start the new entry with new life, but you see shit happens everday. before you have the chance to celebrate the new friendship, something comes to destroy it. when you are about to see breakthrough, something is sure to happen. remember the movie pursuit of happyness. the car got clamped, machine got stolen, wife left, put in lock up, unpaid jobs, being used. but you know what, i ain't giving up. you throw me a staff i will use it to split the red sea. YOU CAN'T BREAK ME, SHOW ME WHAT ELSE YOU HAVE LITTLE DEVIL! one day you will regret and you will back off from me. don't mess up with the child of God.

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for those that had been faithfully clicking this blog, you know who you are. this is for you, i'm back. stronger than you think. :)