how have you been

你, 好不好？周興哲
How Have You Been? by Eric Chou



是不是 還那麼愛遲到
Shi bu shi hai na me ai chi dao
Are you always late as usual?

熬夜工作又睡不好
Ao ye gong zuo you shui bu hao
Staying up late to work and not sleeping enough?

等你 完成你的目標 要戒掉逞強的嗜好

Deng ni wan cheng ni de mu biao, yao jie diao cheng qiang de shi hao

After you've achieved your dream, you have to quit the habit of overexerting yourself

都怪我 把自尊放太高

Dou guai wo bai zi zun fang tai gao
It's all my fault, for letting pride get in the way

沒有把你照顧好
Mei you ba ni zhao gu hao 
Not taking enough care of you

驕傲 是脆弱的外表最怕我的心你不要
Jiao ao shi cui ruo de wai biao Zui pa wo de xin ni bu yao
Pride was the exterior I use to cover up of my vulnerability, the thing I fear the most is that you don't want my heart


Chorus
能不能繼續 對我哭 對我笑 對我好
Neng bu neng ji xu dui wo ku dui wo xiao dui wo hao
Can you continue to cry to me, smile at me, be nice to me?

繼續讓我 為你想 為你瘋 陪你老
Ji xu rang wo wei ni xiang wei ni feng pei ni lao
Allow my to think for you, get crazy over you and grow old with you

你好不好 好想知道
Ni hao bu hao hao xiang zhi dao
How have you been? I wanna know badly

別急著把回憶都丟掉
Bei ji zhe ba hui yi du diu diao
Don’t be in haste to throw all the memories away 

-
我只需要你 在身邊 陪我吵 陪我鬧
Wo zhi xu yao ni zai shen bian pei wo chao pei wo naoI just need you by my side, even to fight with me or just make some noise

用好的我 把過去 壞的我 都換掉

Yong hao de wo ba guo qu huai de wo dou huan diao
Let the good in me replace the old, bad me. 

好想聽到 你堅決說愛我
Hao xiang ting dao ni jian jue shuo ai wo
How I wish to hear you say that you'd love me no matter what, 

可惜回不去那一秒
Ke xi hui bu qu na yi miao

Unfortunately, we can't go back to that moment


你好不好
Ni hao bu hao
How have you been?


Verse 2 
天知道 我快要受不了
Tian zhi dao wo kuai yao shou bu liao
God knows... I can't take it any anymore

後悔鑽進心裡燒
Hou hui zuan jin xin li shao
The regret is burning in my heart

擁抱 再多一次就好
Yong bao zai duo yi ci jiu hao
One more embrace would be enough

你要的我都做得到
Ni yao de wo dou zuo de dao
I would do anything you want

-
Chorus2
能不能繼續 對我哭 對我笑 對我好
Neng bu neng ji xu dui wo ku dui wo xiao dui wo hao
Can you continue to cry to me, smile at me, be nice to me?

繼續讓我 為你想 為你瘋 陪你老
Ji xu rang wo wei ni xiang wei ni feng pei ni lao
Allow me to think for you, get crazy over you and grow old with you

給你的好 還要不要
Gei ni de hao hai yao bu yao
Would you still accept it, the good I'd give to you now 

答案我卻不敢揭曉
Da an wo que bu gan jie xiao
Yet I dare not hear your answer.


我只需要你 在身邊 陪我吵 陪我鬧
Wo zhi xu yao ni zai shen bian pei wo chao pei wo nao
I just need you by my side, even to fight with me or just make some noise

別用離開教我 失去的人最重要
Bie yong li kai jiao wo shi qu de ren zui chong yao
Don't use leaving as a lesson to teach me 'you only realise the importance of someone when they are gone'

別說 你曾經愛過我
Bie shuo ni ceng jing ai guo wo
Don't tell me that you loved me

讓我們回到那一秒
Rang wo men hui dao na yi miao
Let us go back to the moment

你好不好
Ni hao bu hao
How have you been?

-
Last chorus 

能不能繼續 對我哭 對我笑 對我好
Neng bu neng ji xu dui wo ku dui wo xiao dui wo hao
Can you continue to cry to me, smile at me, be nice to me?

繼續讓我 為你想 為你瘋 陪你老
Ji xu rang wo wei ni xiang wei ni feng pei ni lao
Allow me to think for you, get crazy for you and grow old with you,

你好不好 我好想知道
Ni hao bu hao hao xiang zhi dao
How have you been? I wanna know badly.


別急著把我的愛丟掉
Bie ji zhe ba wo de ai diu diao
Please don't be in haste to throw my love away.

我只需要你 在身邊 陪我吵 陪我鬧
Wo zhi xu yao ni zai shen bian pei wo chao pei wo nao
I just need you by my side, even to fight with me or just make some noise

別用離開教我 失去的人最重要
Bie yong li kai jiao wo shi qu de ren zui chong yao
Don't use leaving as a lesson to teach me 'you only realise the importance of someone when they are gone'

別說 你曾經愛過我
Bie shuo ni ceng jing ai guo wo
Don't tell me that you loved me

讓我們回到那一秒
Rang wo men hui dao na yi miao
Let us go back to that moment

你好不好
Ni hao bu hao
How have you been?

true love

You don't want to experience true love
Because once you stumble upon it
You will know all the rest is not the real thing

Do we choose to love or do love choose us?
How is loving one seems so easy and effortless?
Yet another so hard and so trying?

Can one ever experience a love greater than true love
Can one actually feel true love without the other feeling the same
Will one, one day discover that this great feeling is not true love just yet

Will one truly be happy if her true love finds another true love
If not what kind of love is that?
But if true love actually finds another does it mean that love never actually existed at all

tokyo kyoto: day2 omantesando / harajuku

omantesando, the high end side, right next to harajuku
















kiddy land in cat's street




takeshita street, harajuku


the new craze at calbee




the simple udon that i can have everyday...

more photos here

tokyo kyoto: day1+2 shibuya

this is the second time im in tokyo. so we just eat and shop all the way.


too hungry, we need to eat something near our hotel first






this is for chai qiao... yum yum


here we are, shibuya


we look high and low for this restaurant, i been there the last trip and i was determine to look for it... i need to gratify that craving.






day 2 dinner...

the crowd at shibuya in my blk and white collection.
















more photos here

the end and the beginning

wake up this moment standing at the end of the chapter of this year
not sure if i had pushed myself to be the best
not sure if i had really make the most out of it
definitely sure grace had accompany me throughout

i wouldnt say it is the most eventful year
nor will i say it is any less eventful
nothing i say i cannot forget
yet a lot i know i will say one day i treasure dearly

i thank God for the friends i made
i thank God for those i did not
i thank God for those far away
i thank God for those next to me

i thank God for the conversation made
i thank God for the crazy things we do
i thank God for the people that shower me with love and smiles
i thank God for the cakes, chocs and coffee

i thank God for the noisy time we had,
and the quiet space we had
i thank God for striving through the busy schedule,
and the hardship we go through together

mistakes i make this year may i find more grace to not repeat it again
may He keeps me close to his heart, may i live with more passion
may i recognise the greatest that He has install for me, may i see the beauty all around me
may grace, love and hope bring me and you through the next chapter

i wrote

i picked up my pencil for the first time after many months
this journal which used to be my only outlet to keep my heart intact
Oh how i forgotten you
like i forget many things in my life

maybe i have not forget you
maybe im just fearful to write anymore
maybe i dont want to admit im lost
maybe i dont want to face the fact -- im far away from home.

God where are you?
and i dont mean you are hiding
God where are you?
i meant im lost
help me find my way back home

i cant remember when
i cant remember which direction i took
not too long because i cant seem to forget you
yet long enough, i dont seem to be able to trace my way back home

God where are you?
i seem to see you but i cant touch you
at times, like a dream
and i lost you again the next waking day

is the way back home that far?
will i ever find my way back?
honestly it's hard to believe the possibility
yet i believe, and i want to keep this hope

that one day, i'll be home again
one day, i'll be back in your embrace
one day
i only hope one day will not wait no more
and when one day come, i'll still recognise home when i find it
one day


---
i wrote the above after coming across what Vance Havner observed: "How long you've been a Christian tells you how long you've been on the road, but it doesn't tell you how far you've come."

exiling love by jie wei ling

Sometimes, I feel so lonely
Even though you haven't said anything
You just held me tightly
but said to me gently
I'm only a friend
The love is different
The love I give bears no fruit

I don't get it, I know I'm not wrong
Forgot to put lock on the heart that loves you
Foolishly let love became a torture
You don't care about me at all
I still love without giving up
I choose to step aside for the love of you

Being exiled to the cold border
Learning that ambiguity is not sweet
Not caring the so called unfairness
Quietly leaving, gently closing my eyes
Quietly put it there

you learn

"You Learn.

You Learn

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security.


And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,

And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.


After a while you learn...
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure...

That you really are strong

And you really do have worth...

And you learn and learn...

With every good-bye you learn."

— Jorge Luis Borges

happy alone

"There is a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasnt because I thought I would be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love? And then you don't have it. What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? And then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This? It could go on forever"

meredith, grey's anatomy

because im a girl

"BECAUSE I'M A GIRL" by Kiss
Version English
I just can't understand the ways
Of all the men and their mistakes
You give them all your heart
And then they rip it all away

You told me how much you loved me
And how our love was meant to be
And I believed in you
I thought that you would set me free

(REFRAIN):
You should've just told me the truth
That I wasn't the girl for you
Still, I didn't have a clue
So my heart depended on you, whoa

(CHORUS):
Although I'll say I hate you now
Though I'll shout and curse you out
I'll always have love for you
Because I am a girl

Been told a man will leave you cold
Get sick of you and bored
I know that it's no lie
I gave my all, still I just cry

Never again will I be fooled
To give my all when nothing's true
I won't be played again
But I will fall in love again

(REFRAIN)

(CHORUS)

I loved you so
Now you leave me in the cold
How could this be
I thought that you'd only love me

Into the night
I will pray that you're alright
You hurt me so
I just can't let you go

You took advantage of my willingness
To do anything for love
Now I'm the only one in pain
Will you please take it all away

Never thought being born a girl
How I can love you and be burned
And now I will build a wall
To never get torn again

august rush

strangers again

the thing is we all know the pattern but we just can help but let it happen all the same again.

we're all afraid of pain by wilber pan

from the taiwan tv series endless love

Synopsis, Story and preview:
Song Rui En had always believed that she would marry his childhood sweetheart one day. But her belief changed after she met Liang Jing Hao, a wisecracking guy who turned her world upside down. She was a girl from a rich family without a care in the world. And he was a penniless man with a chip on his shoulder. They overcame many obstacles to be together. But when Liang walked out on her the day before their wedding, she was at a loss to understand his reason. He reappeared three years later to find out, she is still waiting. Maybe to say waiting is an understatement. But yah, girls do that. What's wrong with them, idiot. Oh, i mean the girls.

---
Something strike a chord here.

dream

a dream

i usually wouldnt take notice of chinese singing competition. but her story is one worth telling.

7 years ago at malaysian idol finale. (incidentally i was there)


this same girl, jess lee makes a very loud statement today. never give up in your dreams. champion of this season Taiwan, One In Million. she scored full points for all her 4 songs in the finale. so much so the judges was tempted to announce her winner before the show was over. they also said she can sign up with a recording studio immediately and cancel off her CNY plans :)

her story:


more


usual sucker, i teared hearing her stories and when she sings.

---
her mum statement to her: "failures are stepping stones to success, which successful person doesnt have some?". what doesnt brings you down, makes you even stronger.

visualise, baby

NYC - Mindrelic Timelapse from Mindrelic on Vimeo.

a letter to my child

Dear darling,

Mummy just want you to know no matter where you are and what you are doing, regardless of your academic achievements, mummy and daddy love you very much.

My only prayer for you is that you live a faith driven life. A life that dare to walk into the unknown and move mountains because you know that God is with you. A heart strong enough to believe the God of the impossible, I believe you will do great things.

Examine your days and let everything be done with purpose in mind. If you have no reason to do something it is not worth your energy. When you find that purpose to do something then go all out to do it. Give your best shot, you have nothing to lose.

In all this adventure and passion do not forget people. For a life of purpose and excitement with no one in it is meaningless. Value every life that cross your path. Love them, see them and learn from them. That is life. That is so much more fulfilling than anything you can imagine.

love, mummy
2010

---
i wrote this in 2010, in this activity i was asked "what would you write to your future child?". i realised when i read it again that it actually encompasses all that matters to my life. It is like last words before you die, you only say things that matter. so i feel i need to reread this again and again, so that i can constantly reexamine what really matters in life. because so often, we are preoccupied with things that doesnt matter.

love the way you lie cover by stephenie gee

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because i like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because i love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Always thought you and i were perfect
I could tell you from the start
Thought you were gonna be my man
but then you left, tore me apart
And now you are gone
You ain't by my side
Got me askin' questions
Cause everything we were was all a lie
When were you gonna tell me
Oh how you feel
Why you gotta wait so long to tell me it was all unreal

Everyday i sat by just waiting
For you to come back home
But then i saw you with a girl
Broke my heart, and left me cold
Seems so unreal
Cant' grasp this thought
Couldn't sleep at all last night
Cause just realised it was all a lie
When were you going to tell me
Just how you feel
Left me for someone else and here I am caught up in tears

all the beautiful things

concept behind 'the big 3 zero'

All photos by: www.anna-rina.com

"I was also touched when Vogue editor in chief Anna Wintour called to propose an article and photo shoot for the December issue of the magazine. It was gutsy of her to offer and counterintuitive for me to accept. In fact, the experience did wonders to my spirits. I wore a glorious burgundy velvet Oscar de la Renta creation for the cover shoot. For a day, I escaped into a world of makeups artists and haute couture. The Annie Leibovitz photographs were great giving me the chance to look good when I had been feeling so low."
Hillary Rodham Clinton words in her biography Living History after the scandal between Bill and Monica Lewinsky

it was anna who presented me the idea of doing this set of photos. she says "it is time to change new FB's profile photo". in case you dont know, i owe almost my entire life profile photo for FB, twitter, msn and whatever else will come our way to her. the last time we did a location shot like this was probably when i was 27. she was in the beginning of her photography career. and now she is a renown photographer. by doing this it reminds me of these two things:
1. seeing how much we had progressed after these 3 years give me great assurance and anticipation for the years ahead
2. she made me believe i still have it. there is a kind of beauty in each of us regardless of our age and a genuine smile trumps wrinkles :)

i attached the 2007 and the 2010 version of myself. if you take a look at the comparison. i haven't change much in my style, just some new clothes.

set1: the soft side



2007 of me. yah the nice straight hair and floral dress

books, not because i really read a lot. but i do enjoy reading. and i definitely read a lot more the last few years than the first two decades of my life. these are books that had influence and inspired me one way or another, these are books i don't mind reading over and over again. many of you who knows me also know that im quite an open book, this is how i like to live my life. im not embarrassed of my past and my struggles because i recognized im only human and i had stopped trying to be perfect. my weakness on a contrary effect had made me more approachable and helped me gain more deeper friendships. recent years i learn to practice the sabbath, where i intentionally choose not to work, but to read and journal, it keeps me sane. this simply show the soft side of me, the fragile and vulnerable side of me.


set2: the wild side



2007 of me. see the red dress! trying to be hot too :)

i do get one or two negative comments on how i dressed up recently. and it is easy to removed them, just trash those dresses away. but after much thought i concluded "no". i like hot. i love victoria beckham. i think hot is a trend, a kind of attitude. though it might give some guys wrong impression of what kind of girl i am, it's ok. im done dressing up to fit the mold of mass production sweet gentle pretty girls. because even if my dress can deceive them, they will find out very quickly im far from that. or maybe because it is a deep down struggle that im frequently being compared to my sister. i like to be styled differently from her. i want to be seen as a separate individual. also, i think there is a difference between hot and slutty. hot girls can be slutty. but slutty girls are not necessary hot. my aim, thus is to be hot, untouchable hot :) i think that is cool or at least for now it is unless i get tired of this style.


set3: chill


i do not have a 2007 photos for this set. i think... i dont know how to be totally real yet :)

coffee, work, apple and me… yes that is me being very comfortable with all my stuff and favorite toys. yes, dont be jealous, that is how my workspace normally looks like. as you can see from my photos, i lie down, i put up my legs, for the record i also eat chicken wings with my hands. that is me, ppl just need to embrace me as i am. at least im real. love me or hate me. your choice. we called that personal preference and i will not be offended by it. or i learn not to be anymore.

view more photos here.
---
i think these 3 sets of photos summarize me in a nutshell. my mum says, "why are your dresses either long long or short short". yah i don't like being in between. I'M MAKING A STATEMENT.