Thursday, December 13, 2007

tested and proven works

i still remember that feeling. the feeling that i will never get through this. i could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

i know many ppl believe that sulking is not the way out. we encouraged ppl not to think about the past relationship anymore, get rid of all the things, deny the feelings then it will be gone. i had been the company of a fair share of break-up-ers. i think i had successfuly see each of them get up, pull through, courting again, get attach and get married.

1. i drink with them - too much alcohol is not good but a little will give them a better sleep. all they need to do is pass by the night and that is what we can do for them. a little of 'eyes washing' gives them hope as well that their still guys around.
* i wont even think about lecturing them about alcohol, most of the time i company them till they tell me: " 'enough', i waste too much money in alcohol... i need to pick myself up". so be it, then we can start doing other things.
2. i let them talk - i let them tell me how much they still miss their ex, what went wrong, let them process what happen. we all know sometimes things just happen too fast and to be able to reason all this allow ourselves to come to terms with the situation.
* i never tell them to stop thinking about it because i know it is not exactly a choice and the last thing i will ever say is "actually he is not such a great guy". even though some of them are really not that great because i have learned that it is not exactly comforting. and if you catch the person in a terrible mood you might get a slap, "right! why dont you tell me when we were dating, friend!" izzie in grey's spelled it out very well.
IZZIE: "When Derek broke up with you, nobody told you were better off without him. It's not supportive, it's condescending. I was there for you, and the one time I need you... Just go away, Meredith."
3. i let them know i know how it feels
* i dont pretend that it never hurt me though it is over now because fact is i remember it was torturing. the amount of things that run through the mind every minute. memories, the words-i-should-had-say-and-i-shouldnt-had-said, the cannot-believe-it-had-come-to-an-end, the looking-for-which-bit-it-last-went-wrong, the want-to-stay-and-hope-or-move-on feeling. sometimes this thoughts come one by one. sometimes it comes all together. you hate it..., you drown yourself with work. sometimes you cant even work and you just hide underneath the blanket not wanting to face the day. you dont want to talk to anyone because they ask you surface question and they expect you to give 'im ok, i have move on' answer. the world just doesnt help when friends come asking where is your partner, every song lyrics just seems to want to speak into your situation, every movies seems to want to give a fair share as well.

i had went through it, but i realised that i need to remember what i went through because someone today need to know i know how they feel. this entry is:
1. to those that had not gone through this, i pray that you will never. but make a point to give this ppl time to mourn if you really want to be there for them
2. and to those who went through those sucky time with me, i could not explain how comforting to have you there with me because i know you fully understand. i believe we had dragged each other along the way for a while. and for those that are going through it now, the light is there... we just need to keep walking.
3. to those special ones, those that had sat with me and hear me go through the stories again and again. you deserve a greater salute because you didn't understand but because you care, you had chose to listen. thanks.

this whole situation had taught me to be even more hopeful as if im not already 'miss hope' (haha). for example now, my work seems to have no end but im looking forward... hanging in there each day because the end will surely come. yes it will come.

the sun will rise once again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

:) thanks again

from the one who freeloads off your wi-fi ;p