concept behind 'the big 3 zero'

All photos by: www.anna-rina.com

"I was also touched when Vogue editor in chief Anna Wintour called to propose an article and photo shoot for the December issue of the magazine. It was gutsy of her to offer and counterintuitive for me to accept. In fact, the experience did wonders to my spirits. I wore a glorious burgundy velvet Oscar de la Renta creation for the cover shoot. For a day, I escaped into a world of makeups artists and haute couture. The Annie Leibovitz photographs were great giving me the chance to look good when I had been feeling so low."
Hillary Rodham Clinton words in her biography Living History after the scandal between Bill and Monica Lewinsky

it was anna who presented me the idea of doing this set of photos. she says "it is time to change new FB's profile photo". in case you dont know, i owe almost my entire life profile photo for FB, twitter, msn and whatever else will come our way to her. the last time we did a location shot like this was probably when i was 27. she was in the beginning of her photography career. and now she is a renown photographer. by doing this it reminds me of these two things:
1. seeing how much we had progressed after these 3 years give me great assurance and anticipation for the years ahead
2. she made me believe i still have it. there is a kind of beauty in each of us regardless of our age and a genuine smile trumps wrinkles :)

i attached the 2007 and the 2010 version of myself. if you take a look at the comparison. i haven't change much in my style, just some new clothes.

set1: the soft side



2007 of me. yah the nice straight hair and floral dress

books, not because i really read a lot. but i do enjoy reading. and i definitely read a lot more the last few years than the first two decades of my life. these are books that had influence and inspired me one way or another, these are books i don't mind reading over and over again. many of you who knows me also know that im quite an open book, this is how i like to live my life. im not embarrassed of my past and my struggles because i recognized im only human and i had stopped trying to be perfect. my weakness on a contrary effect had made me more approachable and helped me gain more deeper friendships. recent years i learn to practice the sabbath, where i intentionally choose not to work, but to read and journal, it keeps me sane. this simply show the soft side of me, the fragile and vulnerable side of me.


set2: the wild side



2007 of me. see the red dress! trying to be hot too :)

i do get one or two negative comments on how i dressed up recently. and it is easy to removed them, just trash those dresses away. but after much thought i concluded "no". i like hot. i love victoria beckham. i think hot is a trend, a kind of attitude. though it might give some guys wrong impression of what kind of girl i am, it's ok. im done dressing up to fit the mold of mass production sweet gentle pretty girls. because even if my dress can deceive them, they will find out very quickly im far from that. or maybe because it is a deep down struggle that im frequently being compared to my sister. i like to be styled differently from her. i want to be seen as a separate individual. also, i think there is a difference between hot and slutty. hot girls can be slutty. but slutty girls are not necessary hot. my aim, thus is to be hot, untouchable hot :) i think that is cool or at least for now it is unless i get tired of this style.


set3: chill


i do not have a 2007 photos for this set. i think... i dont know how to be totally real yet :)

coffee, work, apple and me… yes that is me being very comfortable with all my stuff and favorite toys. yes, dont be jealous, that is how my workspace normally looks like. as you can see from my photos, i lie down, i put up my legs, for the record i also eat chicken wings with my hands. that is me, ppl just need to embrace me as i am. at least im real. love me or hate me. your choice. we called that personal preference and i will not be offended by it. or i learn not to be anymore.

view more photos here.
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i think these 3 sets of photos summarize me in a nutshell. my mum says, "why are your dresses either long long or short short". yah i don't like being in between. I'M MAKING A STATEMENT.

it is a beautiful day

Photo by: www.anna-rina.com

what do you do on your 30th birthday? i sit at starbucks by the glass window sipping my iced latte, seeing cars pass me by. Il dolce far niente, the italian phrase of "the joy of doing nothing" (from the movie eat pray love). i flip to the message psalm 30 that totally summed out my sentiments today. i read through those lines and let those words sink into me.

A David Psalm
I give you all the credit, God—
you got me out of that mess,
you didn't let my foes gloat.

God, my God, I yelled for help
and you put me together.
God, you pulled me out of the grave,
gave me another chance at life
when I was down-and-out.

All you saints! Sing your hearts out to God!
Thank him to his face!
He gets angry once in a while, but across
a lifetime there is only love.
The nights of crying your eyes out
give way to days of laughter.

When things were going great
I crowed, "I've got it made.
I'm God's favorite.
He made me king of the mountain."
Then you looked the other way
and I fell to pieces.

I called out to you, God;
I laid my case before you:
"Can you sell me for a profit when I'm dead?
auction me off at a cemetery yard sale?
When I'm 'dust to dust' my songs
and stories of you won't sell.
So listen! and be kind!
Help me out of this!"

You did it: you changed wild lament
into whirling dance;
You ripped off my black mourning band
and decked me with wildflowers.
I'm about to burst with song;
I can't keep quiet about you.
God, my God,
I can't thank you enough.

---
then i begin to scribble my heart conditions and a prayer in my little journal.

"Because of You, O God i have the courage to face tomorrow and the years ahead. to learn on the hindsight that there are always light in the end of my tunnel. that heartbreaks, disappointments, betrayals, regrets, and those days that i do not want to wake up to this lousy world though inevitable will pass away; but only the refined me and sweet memories will remain. so i ask only of this O God, a constant assurance of your presence. a heart that will continuously beats with passion. faith big enough to dive in with you in the crazy, great adventure ahead. and finally wisdom to seize the day, manage the resources and opportunities that present themselves to me. cheers to a good year."

put down my pencil, close my journal… look up to the reflection of me on the mirror. *smile*

it's a beautiful day.

a weekend of pretty things

SAT: FUKUYA Authentic Japanese Cuisine –- very pretty lunch wedding









SAT: NANDO's –- super cute boy



SUN: OTAH-OTAH –- tea break at tropicana city

a whole new world

perhentian 30apr to 6may:

here is the whole gang bang from my cell consisting of fresh-from-the-oven 10 new divers and some existing pros. except for merv, the guy in black tshirt behind, one of our DM; and Ben, DM-on-training, carrying his daughter, lele.


the guy with tattoo on the left is my instructor, cum owner of bubble dive resort - ronnie. he builds a play pan next to the dive centre for his almost two-years-old kid. what can i say, he is a really cool guy. oh ya, 'the wees'... look what he is wearing around his neck. i think i want to get one of those for my hand. the blackT guy on the other hand, quit his job and is staying on this island as a DM for a season (8months). that is courage.


here we go!!!


i am on the far right. survived the underwater.


i am back, certified. satisfied.

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all photos courtesy of of kevin and adele.

the 5 days just past by so fast, i wished i had more time to read, to moonbath under the stars, journal, nap and just chill out with my friends. it is beyond my wildest dream to even imagine doing this. wouldnt have taken this step without all of you, thank you for giving me courage and lending me strength.

i could not help but feel the strong presence of God that comes with the wind everyday. it makes me think, maybe i am meant to live on a island.

seoul korea: day5 korean folk village

this is such a yummy plate of nissin noodle. dry hot spicy. i ordered this the next day, after i see the couple eating them.


suwoi korean folk village, a very huge architectural place. in fact a lot of local and families just spend their weekend here.


they really make sure this place is filled with the local culture. old uncles really stay here and do their daily thing. their dedication amazes me. like seriously, does he need to really sow the seed? like we actually know he is faking it or not. but this makes the place really warm and cozy with their presence.


she is so cute.






it is just a short distance, i took a while to walk out there and back. i think the guy who took the photo for me cannot stop laughing.


this is the set where the series dang jae gum was filmed.


i happily dragged those uncles to take photo for me. i guessed i gave them the other tourist the idea. uncle freak out and quickly walked away mumbling some korean words. super funny.


nice.




this is where i got those small little cakes. this is a famous local bakery.


ox tongue, gosh yummy...




jinjinbang, the local hot bath.

more photos of day5 here.

who i met
cy: hey, where is the hot sauna
girl: i dont think they have it here.
cy: oh, so there only hot bath here.
girl: yah...
cy: are you local, you speak very well in english.
girl: yah, i did my high school in england. where are you from?

there goes my long explanation of singapore and malaysia. it was a long pleasant talk. she is a really sweet girl.

seoul korea: day4 dongdaemun and lotte world

i was pretty excited to see this packing at the convenient store. but after trying it, no way it can compete with the original fresh brewed coffee.


dondaemun, is filled with malls. few of those are like the bangkok platinum where you can bargain the price of things. the mall will be filled with small shops every floor ranging from clothes, shoes to bags. still it is too pricey for me to shop at these bargains area.




too my regrets, i did not try any of these.


my beloved cousin, esther whom provided me with the free accommodations and dinner.


this my friend is lottle world, the set which is most famous for the series stairways to heaven.


we bought the after 7pm ticket for W13000 (rm33.80), which i think is a really really good deal. there are loads of good rides, except that the weather is too cold. i didnt because the queue was extremely long and my cousin is not keen about it. i figured i better not since i might not be able to feel my legs after those rides, both from the cold and my fear.


night... this is when i tell you as usual, i hate my camera. i do not have good photos for it. lotte world, like most of our childhood memories will only be found in my mind and not on photos.


we were so excited to walk around, we forgotten to eat our dinner. later we were to cold to loiter around so we order room service. equally satisfied.

more photos of day4 here.

who i met
well i guess shopping doesnt allow much friendly conversations.

seoul korea: day3 namsan and myeon-dong

my lunch, nissin noodles. i just went in to one of this small korean restaurant near my hotel.


im suppose to take a bus from here to seoul tower, but then i took the wrong turn and stumbled into this very nice namsan architectural place. i like traveling alone, i have no fix itinerary to follow so im going in there.


ohh, look! there is this glass house next to it. meaning from the roof top you can lie down there to see stars at night. forgive me, i have a thing for glass house.


i can see that dude with a big slr struggling with the imperfection of my camera. "one more", he insisted.


this place reminds me of the edo-tokyo architectural museum. but this is a small version of it, im going to a very big one on my last day.




i always think that you only see flowers like this in the outskirt of korea. oh no... it is all over. but what i do not expect is my mickeymouse camera can take such a nice shot :)


if you do not believe me that the win is strong, you see for yourself, the whole tent fell apart.


it feels like you can see the tower from almost everywhere in town. im heading there next.


so i shall take yellow bus no2 and it should bring me right to the top of the hill. meantime let me show you the view of from the street. girls here can leave the house just wearing a thin stockings like this, oh wait the students here dont even need stockings.


oooh gosh, i got cheated. the bus dont bring me right to the doorstep of seoul tower. i actually need to climb this very steep hill. so now how, go back down with the bus or climb this??? it is so dark and i dont even see the end of it.


this funny fat korean dude is running left to right in front of me. he is panting like mad, making weird sounds like oooohh... aiyahhhh... i think he is trying to workout. very entertaining like some korean games show, hahah.. ohh... finally i see the tower. maybe i should call this dude to take a photo for me, i know he needed the excuse to stop and rest.


wahh, im finally up here. look at the nice beautiful road i conquered.


ladies and gentleman, "presenting to you seoul tower". this is where they recorded quite a few episodes of the famous series of "my lovely sam soon".


but you know what, i have no time to go in. so let's forget about going in since i can see the whole city view from out here. and i am taking the cable car down. hehe... nice. this place is seriously a perfect place for paktoh-ing. i like.


why the rush, yah because im meeting my cousin in town for dinner. shabu shabu time.


loads of meat...


and this is my favourite. some fish cake thing with melting cheese inside... aggghhh. i finished the whole plate of that.


myeon-dong shopping area to me is like the shibuya shopping area in tokyo. with loads of big brands like 3 floors of forever 21 but it is not cheaper than kl. my cousin said it is cheaper than singapore though.


and yes 3 floors of starbucks too.

more photos of day3 here.

who i met
so in the cable car, these two blokes were conversing very loudly in english. i cannot help but automatically started eavesdropping the whole conversation. after we come out of the cable car, the korean guy told his friend "it is only a 15 minutes walk down to myeon-dong". that really got my attention and i unashamedly approached him.
cy: hey, did i hear you say, you know the way down? can i follow you guys down?

fortunately i did, i dont think i can make my way down myself. so they introduced themselves and all. they know each other when studying in the states. woki (spelled like that i supposed) is playing tour guide to his friend jack (if i remember correctly) and his family. they even get free accommodation from him. that is nice. they also went to jeju island where i wish i have time to go. but this is the more dramatic part, jack is from malaysia and he stays in pj. what?? of all the place in the world. so my cousin spend the rest of the night teasing me saying this must be fate. whatever if he is cuter i will think of that as fate, probably cant even sleep thinking about it. but it is nice talking to them nevertheless.