old news, great lessons

he's not that into you. keep this close to you heart, girls. stop wasting your years hoping on a fantasy that looks nice only on canvas. these are some snippets i copied from NW gossip magazine. her teary eyes caught my attention and i read up the entire article.


' "This whole time she couldnt help but hold out hope that she and Brad would get back together, even though he would never admit to it" a long-time LA based actress friend of Jen's says. "Part of her knew it was silly, but it was always in the back of her mind. And it is not as though Brad's never given Jen reason to hold on to hope – he's been in constant contact with his former wife especially when things with Angelina hit a rough patch.'
NAIVE GIRL NO1: most girls know it is silly, yet we do this over and over again.
JERK NO1: some guys just do what make them feel better without considering how you feel. so forget about them!
LESSON NO1: if they are hanging on to another while telling you how much more comfortable they are with you, they are just treating you as their best friend... nothing more. and guys are capable of having a lot of best friends, dont think too much over it. you are not that special.

'Jen's other trump card was the fact that Brad's mum Jane has always adored her and hated Ange. But when Jen recently saw photos of Brad and Ange in Venice with Brad's parents, it ripped her heart out.'
NAIVE GIRL NO2: we love it when their parents and friends are on our side.
JERK NO2: they have to constantly remind you that everyone else loves you, but they forget to tell you except for them.
LESSON NO2: it doesnt matter if the whole world sees that you are perfect couple (at least half a world in this case). fact is, if that he doesnt like you... who cares the mum likes you. if someone can make them love you, it is not really love then.

'... while Jen's love rival makes plans for her big day, she has been left shattered.
"To her it is the ultimate betrayal by Brad," says her Hollywood actress friend.
"All this time, with the phone calls and secret meetings, she believed they would one day be Mr and Mrs Pitt again.
"And now she knows that will never happen." '
NAIVE GIRL NO3: yah after 3 kids, you cant imagine right now Jen is still wishing that something will happen and they wont make it to the vow. a bit like Man U... girls never say die. sometimes you wonder what got into us.
JERK NO3: they always left you thinking that there is something more, no actually... they just dont mind the attention. guys are equally attention seeking idiots. they just dont admit it. they like the excitement and trill of a rendezvous to feed their manhood, and you are just a perfect candidate.
LESSON NO3: if you want to be there... whatever, just dont think too much about it. just remember always, dont think too much till they say it. SORRY, i mean even when they say it... till they consistently show it. if you still need to guess their intentions, it is just not it.

IT'S FOR THE BEST
While Jennifer might not see it now, a relationship expert says that Brad's commitment to marry Angelina might be just what the, er, doctor ordered.
"She made a promise to be married forever and he broke it. She has just not gotten over it," says psychologist Dr Janet Hall of Jen's years of torture since the 2005 divorce.
"It could be the best thing for her as it ends all hopes of her legitimately getting him back."
Dr Hall says that men Jen's dated, particularly notorious playboys John Mayer and Gerard Butler, were simply lonely-night fill-ins until she got Brad back.
"If she was still pinning for Brad she have deliberately chosen bad boys who were never going to settle," Dr Hall says.
"It says that she doesnt expect a lasting relationship in choosing the bad ones and that perhaps she is not worthy since Brad left her. But now she really is free to create a lasting love with a man who can be true."
Here's hoping.
NAIVE GIRL NO4: yah girls are confused being. we want to pretend we are doing equally as well but we jumped off from one cliff to another. not sure what we are thinking. maybe we are hoping someone will come save us before the next jump.
JERK NO4: And all those other idiots, they take advantage of girls like this. they must be thinking "they know what we are like, and they are coming to our arms. woo hoo... let's eat them alive."
LESSON NO4: Why girls go for bad boys? maybe it is a way to avoid getting into anything more serious again because it hurts. maybe knowing they are bad boys makes you feel better if they surprised you by turning good, then when they look all angelic and prince charming but turned up like a mess.

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come out of the shade by the perishers

let's ditch Justin Case

very good read. should read this again and again. so im keeping it here.

3 type of guys

guys no1
they dont like to tell girls about anything, nor do they like to hear girls mumble about themselves.
- in the beginning, that might be considered cool. and girls, if you think he will open up, you shouldnt be surprised he doesnt.

guys no2
they like to tell girls about everything, and they are good listeners to every girls.
- they make girls feel very special, unfortunately soon they will know that they are not the only one.

guys no3
they only tell one girl about their things and they are interested to know her only.
- this is ideal but rare nowadays... so i guess we can make do with guys no2.

the art of befriending your ex boyfriend

since a lot of ppl are always amaze how i can still be so close to my exes. let me share how i master the art of befriending my ex bfs.

1. if you don't find yourself secretly cursing him, that is a good start. if you sincerely still want to see him successful n marry that perfect woman and have that happy family regardless you are in the picture or not, then we can do this. to remember this person is first your best friend before becoming your boyfriend.
2. to recognise that it is nobody's fault that this relationship doesn't work out, that we both tried but it didn't turn out as planned. 
3. let them make use of you :) let them call you when they have an heartache. let them call you for design opinions and design free namecards (my skills). well i guess it works vice versa when your friendship get stronger.
4. to call them out without overthinking it. i mean if you still want to play the game, it is going to be pretty hard. because the game is being very calculative with your steps.
5. to not hope for anything more besides this friendship. to not feel jealous who they are dating now. seriously they can turn out to be the best person to tell you what game the new guy is playing. they can rebuke you freely because things they nevr dare to say straight to your face, they can tell you now without sounding like an expectation. isnt it cool to have someone to prepare you for the next relationship? 

so I don't see why we should cut off these past relationships. they had been and will be my best friends. friendship without expectations. a bliss. 
 

day90: classic

so who do men normally choose? the one who stood by them or the kind hearted princess?


each day is a piece of art on its own.

001
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disclaimer: the images i use might not be photos of my own.

i miss you

"Why do we miss a person? It’s either because we realize that we never treasured the moments when they were always there and it left us wishing we could turn back time again. Or we were too happy with them, we enjoyed every single moment, that we became so used to the idea of having them around."

retweeted by staticwander
(via raindropsonredroses)

if it is the formal, it is normal to feel like that. let's stop sulking, do better if we have a chance; otherwise, do better for the next person. if it is the latter, you might be in love and you might not even realise that yet. most importantly is, dont be so busy sulking over the first lost that we miss out on the second. for that, we will be the greatest idiot of all.

love finds you

"i think i made the right choice"
"that is where it gets you, son. thinking you have a choice. love finds you. you dont find love." a stranger to lucas scott, OTH.

fate

"dont pretend i never fight for you"... “Oh, I fought for you Chuck! I fought finger and nail until I realised I was scratching at a door that turned out to be a wall.” Blair Waldorf, gossip girl

him: first the reluctance to commit, to let go of the freedom and women he can so easily get his hands on since young; then the struggle with his insecurities if he can live up to be that man for her; at moment he doubted that anyone can love and accept the dark side of his.

her: first her ego to admit she has fallen for him –– a womanizer; then the pride of not wanting to make the first move, wanting to be pursued; occasionally doubting he even loves her or just taking her for a ride.

this sums up GG season2. from separate frames we know that they love each other. but when one of the party fights like mad to make it happen, the other is most often not ready or unsure. every now and then a new girl and a new boyfriend will come be introduced thickening the wall between them. and this sums up a lot of our love stories as well.

my conclusion,
love without fate is not good enough. for that will only lead to pain and more pain.
fate alone is not enough either, for it will only bring us through strings of relationship that we do not need.
LOVE AND FATE is when a man and a woman that loves each other simultaneously fight for each other at the same time.

all these factors--love, time, action, space, feelings, emotions, other external stuff happening in each other lives, books we are reading, movies we are watching, songs we are hearing, the conversation with our friends and the whole wide world--are supposed to intertwined to make this happen. so tell me what are the chances. *sigh*

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a writeup from the scene where the above quote is extracted. if you have time, you might want to read up the emotions involved. (WARNING! SPOILERS)

lessons from the mountain - part2

'I remember a pivotal time early in my marriage. Steve and I were deep in the wilderness as Steve was going through his ninety-hour-a-week internship in Seattle. I was a believer, but an immature one, and I thought: What good does it do me to be married if my husband is never around? I also felt that if Steve really truly loved me he would find a way to beat the system. I expressed all these feelings to Steve.

Fortunately, Steve was godly enough to listen to me. Though my husband was young in his faith, the way he responded to me showed me Jesus. Steve came to me the next day and said he couldn't see a way to change his current situation as a medical intern. Before I could begin ranting and raving again, he said, "I love you and I care more about you and our marriage than my dream of being a surgeon. I am willing to give that up."

I was stunned as I thought about the sacrifice he was sincerely offering. Steve had already completed seven years of his training, but I knew he was speaking the truth because he, unlike me, is truly Christlike in the way of honesty. His willingness to sacrifice for me inspired me to sacrifice for him. I wept and I told him I loved him too, and that I would support him, and that we would make it through that year, and that we would make it through that year, and that he wouldn't hear any talk of ending our marriage ever again.' ~ Falling in love with Jesus

i wept right there. i concluded: women dont need things, maybe not even time and change; actually all they need is this little word called 'assurance'. but the sad truth is she dont normally know that. and we say things like "you are not meeting my needs?" honestly if you ask "What do you want?", we normally cant even give an answer to that.

but you know what is sadder. the truth untold: that many, many men out there toiled and work and get all kind of shit in the office just for their family. but not explained, not emphasized enough.

a guy asked me this the other day "how much assurance do a girl need?"
to which i briefly answered "everyday... (paused for a while) every minute"
he sighed "wah, quite difficult"

i know. and as a woman i wish it is not as difficult as well. i loathe myself for not belonging to the category of i-know-who-i-am-and-i-dont-need-a-man or i-know-God-loves-me-and-that-is-enough kind of women. but unfortunately im not, not strong enough for the former and not there yet for the latter. one more bad news, i happen to fall under the category of the majority.

just think about it, the fall of the whole creation was on her. she passed adam the fruit. do you know how much "it is ok, i still love you" she needs. honestly, she is having a hard time believing that God can love her. what makes it easier for you? but as you frequently remind her, just like you would for your daughter-to-come. one day, one day she will know.

may we all one day come to the full knowledge of God's love for us. meantime sorry, if we put too much expectations on you guys. we actually thought that it is more attainable to feel your love since you have a benefit of a mouth to express and arms to embrace. looks like it is as hard to figure out. i guess love can only be realised in the knowing.

one day... we will all know.

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just came back from 500 days of summer. i genuinely feel for him. the world will become a better place if we talk a little more.

lessons from the mountain - part 1

"The definition of romance is not limited to a guy and a girl. Though that's part of it, romance is so much bigger than just a love story. Romance has to do with making things lovely because of love. Romance means absorbing the beauty of life: conversation, atmosphere, places and surroundings. It means increasing our awareness of the fragrance of pine trees, freshly ground coffee, and sheets drying on the line; hearing the music of waves, children's laughter, and the rain drumming on the roof; seeing the signature of God on His creation. It means drinking the gift of life to the dregs. All to be enjoyed, all to be taken in...

My heart yearns for poetic phrases, perfect snowballs, and beautiful ballads. My heart was made for romance."


it is almost ironic that i spent the last few days on the same mountain of the last entry. as if the backdrop was set for this story to continue. it is just a two nights thing, i should be able to fit everything into my backpack, but i just cant seem to zip it. so i went up to my sis' room to grab a bigger bag to which i found this book. i think it is divine "Falling in love with Jesus – Abandoning yourself to the greatest romance of your life" by dee brestin n kathy troccolli. i immediately know i have to bring it. in the middle of the book was a note by the person who gave my sis the book. it was dated 2002, i cannot help but feel that He secretly arranged this. with a smile on my face, i stuff it into my bag.

i love "romance". Books, movies, stories, the idea of it. i love it when ppl leave notes for me, write letters and sms me unexpected messages that remind me that im special. i love journaling by the beach and reasoning with Him underneath the stars. but a few years back, i learned that the expectation of romance is an offense. that romance is just a fairytale thing, it is expensive and undoable, impossible to the time we are currently living. i remember i once try defending this word "romance" but fail in my attempt, thanks to my lack of vocab. but i remember saying to the extend of "no, im not saying i want flowers and gifts".

as you can read from the excerpts on top, i had already fallen in love with the book on the first few pages. because the opening pages free me from this guilt - the desire of wanting to live a romantic life. And seriously, contrary to expensive i realise that most of the romantic thing we can do are mostly free. im also intrigued to learn that i dont mind having a romantic break all by myself.

"i can do this forever: living on top of e mountain, all curled up next to the fire place with a latte n a book. life was a bliss the last 3 days" my recent tweet

so ya, here is me unapologetically back. criteria in a man: charming, romantic and with depth. i guess what i mean is, i dont need a rich man. just one that is willing to take the plunge with me to enjoy the rhythm of the earth and everything on it. breakfast on bed, sun shining in, with white sheets sounds really pretty :)

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was rereading some of my past entries about romance. still pretty interesting :)

a heart dont break even

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven... even... no

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven even... no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm try'na make sense of what little remains ooh
Cos you left me with no love and no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayin' to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break
No it don't break
No it don't break even no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok
(Oh glad your okay now)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(Oh I'm glad your okay)
I'm falling to pieces yeah
(One still in love while the other ones leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
(Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no
Oh it don't break even no

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what else can say, no one will disagree that it never break even. watch the music video here. catchy tune besides the meaning.

commitment

u know how guys always accuse of not being able to stay in a decent relationship for long. sometimes i wonder is it us or them. i wonder if we over read those signs or they are in denial of those fact.

read more.

happy valentines day

you have shop all the malls for weeks and still cannot find that gift. dont try, boys are boys. a gift is a gift to them. they wont care you walk the whole singapore to find that present. they wont care you burn a hole in your wallet for it. do one of this instead, they will not complain no matter how bad the final outcome look. plus... they will be so proud of you because they cant imagine themselves coming down to doing this paperwork it.

money can't buy love

there is this myth that the more extravagant your wedding day and guest list is, the lower the chance of divorce. it is said that couple that made their vow in the midst of many witnesses feel a greater responsibility to sustain their marriage.

hollywood celebrities took it really seriously. with wedding gown that cost more than a regular wedding in malaysia (i havent even convert the exchange rates), flowers that can buy two houses in pj (after converting it should come out to about 6 houses), and yes it shouldnt surprise you they burn-away 150,000 on fireworks.

but looks like the thread is strong enough to keep the dress together but not the marriage, not only that, the most expensive wedding in hollywood seems to be one of the shortest living marriage. 40 percent of the couples from that list ultimately split.

my best wishes to my two most beloved couples Beckham-Victoria and Tom-Katie. may your friendship last and may you both spur each other towards strong family and marriage.

same beginning, different ending

two boys born on the same day, met their girl under the same scenario and both relationship took a different path. have you ever wonder where your relationship will land at if you had done it differently? if you had shared more, if things had not been left like that, if things had been less complicated. the worst had hit on them again and again. which i dont see it as a tragedy, it only makes the ending so much more meaningful. a line in the lyrics struck me how often in relationship we beat around the bush and end up at the same place. there is something about perseverance in relationship, achievements and dreams that never fail to wet my eyes.

am never a fan of tvb series, they suck big time especially in the romance department. for that simple fact their relationship are normally so surface, i barely feel chemistry between the couple most of the time. i did the usual thing passing by my big living room to get to my room, but this time i stopped there. i didnt just stop there, i stayed up till 6am that day itself. probably because of the japan snowy white backdrop, maybe because of the two sweet couples too. i couldnt stop, it is like i want to know what happen after he makes the call, after he leaves that voice mail, after she drops that note. rumours has it that kevin and niki had been in a relationship, i hope that is not true since i dont like the "had been". i hope that the chemistry in that movie is actually real and not just mere acting. yah... hope... because it is just rare to see such sweetness. you just have to see the way they hold each other. it makes you go "awww..."

if i were a boy

im hooked to this song and this music video tells the songs very well.

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the mornin
And throw on what I wanted and go
drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick with who I wanted
And I'd never get confonted for it
Cause they stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they think that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home

[Chorus]

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand (Yeah you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

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it is funny that i have christmas party on the 24th and 26th. while i spent almost the whole christmas day at home. maybe that is a good reminder that christmas is not about parties but HIM. meantime... im a bit overdosed with holidays and this festive season is really not helping. work is piling up and i aint doing anything... you get my point.

jealousy

it really depends how much i like you. or maybe how much i think i have you. unless of course im super certain that you are all mine, the insecurity part of me always struggle with this little thing called jealousy. i might not do anything about it, i might not even tell you i feel that because seriously i dont really like that part of me. still this is something i have been trying to work through all these years but mostly fall flat on. of course there are a ransom one or two relationships that i dont feel like that, but on most of those occasions that guy normally took over that role. meaning that he would be rather possessive and jealousy would be his middle name. selfishly, i prefer that. at least i feel that the poison is not in me.

recently, as most of you know im not in a relationship. and so why should this issue bother me at all? it disturbs me, because i kinda get jealous over guys that doesnt even belong to me in the first place. of course it didnt affect me a lot because i dont even know who i like exactly. but the the next thing troubles me even more when i start to realise that i get busy even about what other girlfriends think about me. i really believe that these girls are a lot cooler than that, but some part of me think that their glare says something, that them intercepting into those conversations mean something more than just coincidence, that their girls after all and every girl gets jealous somewhat. not wanting any girl to even start feeling uncomfortable with me. most of the time i just try not to talk to much to those guys.

i seriously think that there is this little voice that always put crazy thoughts like this into me. so nowadays, i try not to entertain those thoughts. i start reminding myself not to think so much, and that favourite phrase works pretty well "if it is mine, it will be mine". probably i dun even want to start any relationship until i totally overcome this sickening trade, but will i ever? i hope so. i hope one day love will help me break free. this probably sums up how i look at potential candidate for now though. refusing to think or excite myself too much... if it is mine, it is mine. so i chant.

sometimes when we touch

after cell, raymond picked up the guitar and started singing some oldies. i dimmed the light, we laid down there refusing to go home. it went on and on past midnight. he might not be a perfect singer but it didnt matter, the acoustic version of all those songs, the yellow light, pillows and the sound of drizzle outside made the night almost perfect. not only his wife, it got all the girls mesmerised. these are the results of it all.

david: i need to pick up guitar.
cy: im certain now i need to find a man that can play the guitar. my goodness, imagine him putting me to sleep every night like this. (for a while right there, i forgotten everything else in life)

we oftentimes try to move on from the childish romantic love, we try to remind ourselves that hollywood love is not true love. i understand that is not all love is about but we slowly shun ourselves from surprises, gifts and sweet words. after a while we forgot how to love... we refuse to awaken anything inside. the fear of getting too close yet again.

let us all let go of the past and put back on that childlike faith to love boldly once again. i am finding my way back to my first love, that is if i still remember the way. hopefully halfway, i will find someone that can lead me back there.



Sometimes When We Touch
You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

how to fix those feelings?

we had a bgr session in cell this week. this is one thought which i think might be useful.
to kill another party feelings for you
to kill a girl feelings: tell her you will rather marry your best friend than her.
to kill a guy feelings: tell him he is such a good brother/friend.

other thoughts that spring up after that...
to kill feelings that you no longer want there
if you need to forget him: try developing feelings for another guy.
if you need to forget her: just hangout with your friends.

to avoid falling in love...
to him: dont focus on one guy, buzz different guys randomly when you know you start thinking of someone way too much.
to her: call her only when you run out of things to do, dont pick up her calls all the time and try not returning her calls.

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as much as i thought i dont mind falling in love, i think i am too cautious to allow myself to do so.

'The truth is painful. Deep down, nobody wants to hear it, especially when it hits close to home. Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out loud to hear it for ourselves. And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves. Sometimes, we tell them because we owe them at least that much' grey's

true love

1. makes you learn things you dont normally care about
2. can cause a sudden submission in you to your partner, part of respecting and protecting him
3. doesnt mind he is imperfect, you dont normally know why you love him
4. goes through the worst time of his life with him, and hold faith with him that the best is yet to come
5. drives you to attain what you never thought you can do
6. compel you to give more than you normally do
7. seems to change you not by your choice
8. tend to make you believe it will never end, it seems like yesterday you start the relationship
9. can be difficult to forget and let go
10. is a pain in the ass

when i say true love, think christina in grey's saying this: "I was right. I swear I really believe what I did was right. I don't want you to forgive me. Frankly, I'd find it patronizing if you did. Because... while I know I was right, you think I'm wrong. Which doesn't matter... because... I'm in this. I'm in this for the long haul. And I'm in this to finish the race. So if that means I don't win this one, then fine. I don't win. You win. I'm talking. See? I'm talking first. You win." or dorothy in jerry maguire: "Maybe I am taking advantage. Am I a bad person? All I know is that I found someone who was charming and popular and not-so-nice to me -- and he died. Okay? So why should I let this guy go, when everything in my body says this one is the one... And oh, I don't know if you're interested in this detail, but I was just about to tell you that I love him. I love him, and I don't care what you think. I love him for the man he wants to be, and I love him for the man he almost is. I love him."

true love might not happen to two parties at the same time. in my context it means you-truly-love-a-person. i just found out that eventhough a person had numerous relationships, it doesnt mean that he/she has encounter true love yet. meeting such love makes you a better person. it doesnt matter if the relationship last or not. it is like an encounter with God. after you see the real thing, you will always believe that love is real because you have experience it. i think i have said i do not want to go through this heartache again, in hindsight im actually glad that i ever stumble into it. some ppl say, you are lucky if you ever encounter true love once in your lifetime. i can now say i had, at least i do not need to put this in my list of last 10 things to do before i die.