challenge

chal·lenge –noun
a call or summons to engage in any contest, as of skill, strength, etc.

before the year end, i will do either one of these:
1. i will go for piano lessons so that i will not be forever tone deaf.
2. i will be a part time lecturer in my former college.
3. if not, i will enroll myself as a student again in that college. this time majoring in multimedia.

seriously the third is more like what i want to do because there is a sudden desire for something more in my career. whichever options im taking, i intend to continue my freelance work. which brings me to the point of doubt if i can cope with the expenses and if i have the luxury of time to do that. age is not at all a problem to me, im kinda excited to hit back to lecture hall, squeeze out my creative juices and be surrounded by cutie boys. what im not prepared for is to give up my sleep and finishing up my assignments.

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without vision the people perish. without goals we walk aimlessly. i once had many dreams, dreams i was so sure of fulfilling. i climbed up the shelf to check if any of them are still alive. it seems like when we are awaken from dreams, we can hardly lay hold of it once again. i could not resonate with any of it anymore. but i can no longer stand living in this body that is running out of passion, i need to try some new things. just in case there are untouched ground where my talents and destiny lie. just maybe, i might stumble upon something that will cause my heart to beat again. a dream that i will die pursuing. Martin Luther King said "If you haven't found something to die for, you're not fit to live". doesnt matter i die not changing anything, so long as i die trying to do something. i need to find something to dream about again to justify my existence.

ironically there is another quote that goes "You never really live until you find someone worth dying for." i think twice about it, then i concluded i might just die looking for that someone, so i mind as well stick back to luther's quote. it seems to me it is easier to look for a thing.