coming to my senses

i remember those days i used to be in college, how i hated it when the assignments never seem to end. though i should embraced all the work and take it as an opportunity to prepare a good portfolio, i still loathe the feeling i pay the college fee to go through this suffering. i told myself, i will surely enjoy doing my work more when i start to work. at least i'm paid for my hardwork.

then work started, i work day and night. i still am glad, i proved them wrong that said "when you start working, you will rather go back to college". i mean it was hard work but i really do feel that at least i am being paid for my work. also it is a great feeling to see my work printed and published. that went on for 2 years, then i came to my senses. i do not understand why my workload keep increasing but my pay never. so i told myself, i will surely enjoy doing my work more when i start to do freelance. at least i'm paid for every late night i stay up for.

then i started doing freelance. these is the 5th years doing freelance. i still am glad. i proved them wrong that said "you can't survive long doing freelance, after a while you will go back to a permanent job". i mean there were times that i don't have any jobs at all but most of the times this happen only because i was complacent. at other time i was just too busy, and i am happy i am. because everytime i am busy it just reminds me why i'm thankful i took this path.

i am glad that i can stay up late in my own room then in a big quiet office. i am glad i still have my mummy to prepare meals for me then skipping meals and sleep at the same time. i am glad i can lie down on my bed for short naps then to lie down on the carpet of my office (dun ask me why they don't have a sofa, and yes i was desperate). i am glad i can remind myself the pay cheque that is coming from these late nights then to be hopeful for pay rise that never seems to happen. i am definitely glad that i do not need to take leave for my holidays then to be hold back from holidays because we have yet another deadline. i am glad that organizations recognised my work instead of the company. i am glad. i am glad... that i had the courage to follow my gut feeling and stick with it. i am glad that i am progressing in life.

honestly this is not the end. i told myself, i will surely enjoy life more if one day i own a company that will generate income for me. well of course who will not. hehehe... yah it doesn't seem like it will ever happen, but who knows how long till i write my next paragraph.

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to celebrate the beginning of another cycle of busy workload. finished 19 episodes of 24 in 4 days. 5 more to go. i will try to squeeze it in between this busy schedule.