surprisingly more gfs than bfs now

primary
- inner circle: mei chen, paik lian

sec 1: st mary
- inner circle: yi li*

sec 2: seafield
- inner circle: steph, jac, anna
- cliques: (mohd, leroy), (shawn, ryan)

sec 4: smsu
- inner circle: celia, shawn
- cliques: (selina, mei yee, kelley, chiau theng), (justin, jason) (chan hui, hon kit)

college: the one academy
- inner circle: joan**
- cliques: (yew wei, shawn, rodney, ryan t), (jon c, chris c, ryan f, lemuel)

singapore
- inner circle: shirley, yong howe, ps lawrence, elaine
- cliques: (grace, yan lin, kimmy), (kelley, sharne, jac, hui chuin)

back to kl
- inner circle: greg, keith
cliques: (chris w, sam w, jon n, chris c), (jon c, yuchun, sophia)

now
- inner circle: steph
- cliques in kl: (jac, anna, sien lee), (yi li*), (daniel t, paul), (justin), (yew wei), (jelly, huay phing, jon n)
- cliques in spore: (elaine, shups, steph, weiling, alvin), (yin huan, ying wai)

inner circle = i tell them most of my things and they do too. we meet and talk like any other day in the week.

cliques = friends i have interaction with more than once in a week. msn and blogs help maintain all the current friendships when i am away.

* yili and i had advanced from the ice breaker stage, how i used to feel a bit unwelcome. now i am pretty glad we both had not give up meeting.

**joan and i saw each other in the most improbable place yesterday. i had been looking for her ever since i came back to kl. we lost each other contacts. apparently she had been looking for me too. so we were hugging each other on the street last night, overjoyed and exchanged our numbers. now we must see if we progress from just being acquainted. as you can see from this list, i had found back all my inner circle friends, except her. so this is priceless.

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only one more mia friend, am still looking for my player ex bf. that is the thing with us, we always assume ppl are there and not keep in touch but when you realised there are not there anymore we come out with some weird friendster thing to find them. once we find them again, we just add them in our friends' list as if that do the talking bit till we lose them all over again. i am a sucker at initiating contacts but i always try to meet if you call.

even though i understand that bit that friends change with the season of life we are in, that ppl do come and go i still always find it heartbreaking when i get out of touch with these ppl that i once was so close with. even though the chemistry and intensity of meeting each other might not be there anymore, a secret part of me just want to know at least they are well. i do sit down there once in a while and wonder what they are doing in that room we used to hangout, reminiscing the jokes and things we used to do together. when i hear them doing well, i do feel like writing a note for them and when they are not, i do feel like being there for them. but so often i feel that i no longer has the rights to do so. in moment like this, i do wish that i am an angel, having the liberty to just walk in to their life and watch them without being seen. be by their bed when they cry and pray or at their desk to give them that strength to carry on.

somehow when those friendships blossom again, it is with such gratefulness i cannot begin to explain. i had restore back a lot of friendships recently. they just appear out of no where, i am proud of myself and really thank God for it. still i believe i can do better. then again, how many friends can we cope with, as much as we want to. looking at the recent list, it is pretty obvious my gfs list are getting longer than my bfs list. that is not a norm and i thought that is worthy of a title.

like i had once said, i enjoy making new friends but it is nothing like meeting an old friend, especially those i had journey with.