till i break down and cry

i hurt my neck due to using the wrong posture during exercise.

to make it worst, i slept on a pillow too thick for an injured neck.

i consulted some friends. some were very nice and some were not so nice, "is this what you want to know, happy?". i was so hurt. fine, i am pretty vulnerable now so i just make no more conversation.

i went to the chinese doctor that did the "click clack". i was at the verge of tears. i stopped her and was in a few moment of speechlessness. i know how bad it was when it hurts even when i try to pop some pills in. meaning i need to drink with a straw. for food i need to lift my spoon to my mouth.

in pain, i drove to do all my errands. but i know i need to press on because i need to drive to singapore later. i could hardly turn my neck to see the car. i started crying in the car, my mum asked me if we need to call someone to come and fetch us.

i really cannot take it. i was desperate, i was helpless. i cried and called my boss. he said he will fly me down. it is moment like this i ask myself "why can't i take MC like any other ppl."

i went back home, i really cannot think of how. i just lied down and rest for half an hour.

i woke up and started packing. then i pleaded but no one wants to fetch me to the airport. later my sis felt bad so she took me there. even helped me with the luggage cause i am not suppose to carry anything heavy.

i got the last flight. my boss insisted to fetch me from the airport. he quickly took all my luggage, welcomed me with thank you, thank you and sorry, sorry. i didn't blame him for having me to come. he was feeling bad for me but we both know how important it is to deliver the work tomorrow.

i am prepare to drop the shanghai job if they think that i am not fit for the job, but i will do it because i don't want to cause any trouble last minute because i already promise to do it. so see how it goes tomorrow.

am feeling a bit of headache now probably because i ran around working the whole day. not to mention the heavy laptop. that i tried to hold in the best way i could. or was it because i didn't take the pills. again, i only take one main meal today so i couldn't be taking any pills without them.

i am not a workaholic. i don't love my work. i am just responsible to those i work.

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not suppose to eat spicy, sour and salty food. no cold drinks for "extra ice girl" :(

the reason i write this blog is because i want you guys to pray for me and also pls remember to be extra nice to me if you do see me. am very vulnerable already, pls add no more pain. pls show some sympathy.