rising above our fear

"we might had failed the test but we don't need a paper test to tell us how much we love each other. we might have our differences but you must know we both fought very hard for our relationship to work and i think that is because we love each other." nathan the man



x: sometimes i look at past relationships and why they broke down, sorta also realised that at that break down point, i didn't have the maturity to handle the situation and prolly wasn't ready to deal w such scenarios in a relationship
cy: we will all never be ready. after my 4th bf, i was single for 4-5 years. i kind of think i can do that again. i don't want to go through the pain again, don't want to feel... but i told myself if the next guy come around, i cannot allow this fear to stop me. in life we will always have issues thus we will never be ready. we just need someone that will come along that want to deal on these issues with us. our whole marriage is about that.

for example, i have the fear of writing because i do not have a good command of the language and all the current miscommunication doesn't help. when i started this blog i didn't really expect everyone to read everything i write. i mean my words are all over the place, it might be too long and bad grammars that might be disturbing to some. i am still editing my post post every now and then but since i started blogging, i gained back the confidence to share and write. today, i am really quite proud of myself when you guys tell me you like to read them. life is not about hiding your weaknesses and doing what you are good at so that you feel all good about yourself. life is more than that, it is about being free from this fear that so often grip you. i hate to say this: but things you don't like about your life, it always come back again and again until you rise up and deal with it.

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i took four days to finish my One Tree Hill - Season Three. i am very please with the ending, not sure is it because they all do not just move around changing partners to get their problem solve like any other movies but they know who they love and they fixed it. might be afraid to watch Season Four though, what if all the relationships fall apart again. but come to think about it, an unsuccessful courtship is not a failure but undealt with issues are. i will watch on because i have faith in this director, One Tree Hill is all about resolving issues in life and it will be a happy ending whether or not the couples stick together. it is about having that peace with all those around you and i think it will not fail me.