one last cry

the most cruel things i had ever done to one of my ex
1. when i was angry, i did not answer his phone.
2. when he showed up at my door, i refused to go out.
3. when he attempted suicide "i told him a person who wants to die won't tell anyone".
4. when he was hospitalised i didn't visit.
5. when he ran off the hospital to see me, his hand was bleeding non-stop. i called his dad and sent him home.

He asked "why were you so cold to me? you didn't treat your other ex boyfriend like that."

It's true. maybe because i was too confident of his love for me. it will come a time he will realise i am not worth his love.

if you are once a victim, these might be the route you take next.
one who is hurt, guards himself from getting too serious in a relationship so that he will never be hurt so deeply.
one who is hurt, can rise up in the next relationship to be the one that hurt so that he will not be the victim again.
one who is hurt, might never want to be in a relationship again so that he will never even come near to pain.
one who is hurt, can choose not to do the same thing to another because he understand how painful that is.

that is why relationship is so complicated because there is no one way of doing things.
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ppl said that my blog entries are pretty depressing. well that is really the condition of my life now. everything in life - the past, the recent, the now are teaching us something and that is what i had been blogging all these while. but i think i have enough of it. i won't be blogging till i have something good to talk about.