how are you today?

i thought with little on my plate i can handle things better. but it only make the pain more real. when you are busy you don't have much time to think and feel. i didn't want to allow myself to be like that. i create that room to think and work things out. not everyone appreciates that. you see, we live in a world where everyone is busy. they really are not free to think of how you feel. they just want to get their life right and their things done.

i'm tired
i am hurt but i came in with new smiles again
i am rejected but i initiate again
i am accused but i admit i play a part here

i am tired
can't you see i'm trying
can't you see i need my rest too
can't you see i trying to have a life as well

i'm tired
why should i be the only that needs to change
but i still do because i thought maybe you will appreciate that i try
at least i thought that will cause you to treat me just a little nicer

i'm tired
see if i wake up feeling better tomorrow
His grace is new every morning
but for today i had decided i am going to quit

i have enough of redoing this work. but maybe it is more than work.

remember "don't be affected by what other ppl think of you" are meant to make you feel better and not condemned, so that you can be a free man. it doesn't mean you can do anything you want and don't care about how others around you feel, let not your freedom be hell to others.

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at noon when i drop by at starbucks to get my lunch, the manager greeted me with a big smile "how are you today?" i have to admit i nearly cried and i really feel like answering him. no one had really ask me that for a long time.