i wrote

i picked up my pencil for the first time after many months
this journal which used to be my only outlet to keep my heart intact
Oh how i forgotten you
like i forget many things in my life

maybe i have not forget you
maybe im just fearful to write anymore
maybe i dont want to admit im lost
maybe i dont want to face the fact -- im far away from home.

God where are you?
and i dont mean you are hiding
God where are you?
i meant im lost
help me find my way back home

i cant remember when
i cant remember which direction i took
not too long because i cant seem to forget you
yet long enough, i dont seem to be able to trace my way back home

God where are you?
i seem to see you but i cant touch you
at times, like a dream
and i lost you again the next waking day

is the way back home that far?
will i ever find my way back?
honestly it's hard to believe the possibility
yet i believe, and i want to keep this hope

that one day, i'll be home again
one day, i'll be back in your embrace
one day
i only hope one day will not wait no more
and when one day come, i'll still recognise home when i find it
one day


---
i wrote the above after coming across what Vance Havner observed: "How long you've been a Christian tells you how long you've been on the road, but it doesn't tell you how far you've come."