response

amid this chaos, i was sitting here trying to think how to respond to:
- forwarded news and photos of the burned premises
- prayer alert emails
- sms and emails rumours asking to remove religious articles fearing attack. (let's stop spreading rumours)

i started in the morning by praying. but i do not know exactly what to pray, so i just prayed in the spirit. then i stopped feeding my flesh to think. by night, i still do not know and was about to let it go; hoping when i open my eyes tomorrow all these will be gone.

i wasnt satisfied, i took out my journal and started penning down some thoughts. why is it when they said keep-your-christianity-low-profie-for-now i feel like answering them "im not afraid to call myself Christian". is it because of ego as if im not afraid to die? seriously if someone holds a knife at my throat to deny Christ, will i still say the same thing? why do so many people in this world die of martyrdom anyway? i mean God should understand that i was just trying to survive, it will be stupid to die for such a small thing. i mean they could for all you know bluff the persecutor, "yah im not a believer" and live. then spent the rest of his life serving God and saving more ppl. besides, this is always about me and God right? no... because it is never about how much i can do for God, it is about how much i really believe in this God. and that persecutor needs to hear seriously how true is this God to you.

so it is not about going around acting stupid saying "im a Christian, SO WHAT, kill me". i can tell you, you can surely die without the persecutor not feeling an inch of guilt. it is not ego or stubbornness. it is not about dying for the nametag Christian. it is about dying for a truth that i cannot deny my faith. martyr is always about these two things: One who chooses to suffer death rather than renounce religious principles and One who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle.

response:
1. today more than anything, is a wake up call for me to think that things like this -- churches set on fire -- will never happen in klang valley. it is a time to check my faith: am i afraid to go to church this sunday and deny all that i ever believe in? am i going to stop worshiping God? or am i going to keep doing what i have been doing for the last 12 over years?
2. should the church rise up to fight for our rights and damage? seriously no believer in the bible has ever done that. and it is not because we are weak or trying not to heat up the issue. it is because blessed are the meek, for they know better. show love.
3. it is easy at this time to stop looking at your Muslims friends so not to trigger any awkwardness. seriously that is exactly the plan of the evil one. to cause discomfort among races and religions. instead, at this very moment... i sit here and thank God that i can so freely call out one of my most passionate, best-est friend Anna Rina Rahim or call her b*tch for-all-i-want and she wont kill me for it. i can so crazily laugh with my most inspiring all rounded creative director of all time Sham Jallaludin or spell his damn long name wrongly for-all-i-know not fearing i upset him. how can i forget those crazy laughters i had with azni over lunch last week, one of the most capable nicest designer i ever know. so we just continue doing that, held on to the friendships we already have and stop thinking of the minority. soon the extremist will die down when the rest of the Muslims dont join them and the Christian are not responding to them. for what is not of God, will not last.

now my heart is at peace to sleep :)