year end reflection

has it got to do with end of the year. the pressure of trying to do everything before the year come to an end or what. im jam packed with house warming, parties, gatherings, assignments, work deadlines. so many things happening that i dont have time to finish reading my books, clearing all my downloaded movies, or even sit down to gather my thoughts.

there i am planning for my bangkok shopping trip and the condition is getting worst than before. with the international airport close down and my recce team (my friend's whole family) squandered there the situation just got more worrying than it should.

i sit there and ponder for a while, here i am im trying to make a holiday plan amid the world trying to make changes in their country. it seems like every country is trying to fight for their country freedom and hope, a new government away from corruption. some knows what their doing, some dont; nevertheless the world is groaning from within for a change.

no wonder my friend mentioned he doesnt mind migrating to the States now to be part of that change, sometimes we wish that we are part of a hope that is greater than ourselves. but so often, not many of us lift a finger to do anything but our own things. we only wish that someone will do the job, while we taste the result of that change. meantime we continue to party and do our shopping. i seriously do not know where to begin, a country? of which i do not know where i belong sometimes. staying in a country that i am not a citizen to, or holding a passport of a country that the national anthem i do not know how to sing. a church? of which the many things i do not know where to focus in, and the question is more like what kind of change really matters. a corporate world? standing in the midst of the multitudes and i wonder what significant i can be, though we hear of many stories of life that made a change, then i look at faces around me and i thought of the many untold stories of life that had not make it.

do you think it is random that some ppl are just choosen to be vessel of change? or do you think these ppl have far greater tolerance than others. that failure is not ultimatum for them and change was all they hope to see. or most of us just lack of that umm in our life. no children to fight for, no country we love more than ourselves and yet to know the heart of God we claim we love.