the fine prints retype for your amusement
SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS
If you are gay: this one could take a while. By all means have fun trying, but you may also want to consider adopting.
If you are underage: please check beforehand with parents or the person(s) who will be paying for the child's upbringing.
If you are single: have one night stand with pre-punctured condom, then seduce the individual into marrying you before the pregnancy is apparent. A gamble, but worth it.
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always love this guy works. not that i will do any of it but he is really brilliant in his copywriting to come out with 365 crazy ideas each year. now you can participate too. find a way to screw up your life every year heheheeh....
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