please-take-me-home

have you ever prayed a "please-take-me-home-to-heaven-to-be-with-you" prayer? what were the circumstances when you did?
question from the john bevere's book

to be honest i did, but it is not so much i desire to be with the Lord like what the author said but more like i suddenly lost touch of the meaning and reason to life.

i just no longer know what i'm working for.
i just no longer have a cause that i can die for.
i just no longer know where to channel my love to.

in another word i no longer know why i'm taking my next breath. i'm no longer impacting anyone, nor is anyone affecting me. but then again i know that i will still wake up tomorrow morning. so i'm just sustaining this physical being praying in desperation that God will shed some light.

reason number two would be i rather die while i still want God in my life then the time comes when i do not know Him anymore.

all i can say now, is what i had said 3 years ago at muar.
"stay with God! take heart. don't quit. i'll say it again: stay with God.'
(Psalm 27.13-14, The Message)

*this is not suicidal, this is the tired of life pleading for mercy kind of prayer. not sure if any of you feel this way before but this is the first time i ever feel like this. this journal entry was taken from my diary written a week ago.

here i stand
forever in Your mighty hands
living with Your promise
written on my heart

i am Yours
surrendered wholly to You
You set me in Your family
calling me Your own

now i
i belong to You
all i need
Your spirit, Your word, Your truth
hear my cry
my deep desire
to know you more

in Your name
i will lift my hands
to the King
this anthem of praise i bring
heaven knows
i long to love You
with all my heart
i belong to You!