the best mistake i've ever made

by joanna wang

One step too far
All at once I'm falling
Just like a star
I'm burning for you
Thought I could keep myself from feeling this way
I guess that was my first mistake

Cause suddenly I'm walking
Down a dark street to your door
Wanting you is driving me insane
And now my feet are standing
Where they've never stood before
Guarded by a twist of fate

If I lose myself with you tonight
Fall apart or hold on tight
Wrong or right
I won't be afraid
Cause even if my heart should break
You'd be the best mistake I've ever made

I'm in your room
Now there's no denying
What's in your eyes
When I look at you
Two shadows talking but they don't make a sound

Words have lost their meaning now

And the air has turned electric
Now I know the time is right
To put myself into your hands
And suddenly I'm shaking
As your fingers touch my skin
I don't need to understand

And if tomorrow proves me wrong
I swear I don't belong
I know I'll carry on

So I will lose myself and bare my soul
Take this chance cause heaven knows
I'm so far gone, my choice is made
And even if my heart should break

When I lose myself with you tonight
Fall apart or hold on tight
Wrong or right
I'll always say
You're the best mistake I ever made

cruelity

birthday's surprises doesnt work in our generation anymore. because we often get what we dont want to know.

jar of hearts

by Christina Perri

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half a life
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half a life
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are
Who do you think you are

day141: wallpaper

each day is a piece of art on its own.

001
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disclaimer: the images i use might not be photos of my own.

dear john

Paperweight by Joshua Radi & Schuyler Fisk


Been up all night staring at you
Wondering what's on your mind
I've been this way with so many before
But this feels like the first time
You want the sunrise to go back to bed
I want to make you laugh

Mess up my bed with me
Kick off the covers i'm waiting
Every word you say i think
I should write down
Don't want to forget come daylight

Happy to lay here
Just happy to be here
I'm happy to know you
Play me a song
Your newest one
Please leave your taste on my tongue
Paperweight on my back
Cover me like a blanket

Mess up my bed with me
Kick off the covers i'm waiting
Every word you say i think
I should write down
Don't want to forget come daylight

And no need to worry
That's wastin time
And no need to wonder
What's been on my mind
It's you
It's you
It's you

Every word you say i think
I should write down
Don't want to forget come daylight

And i give up
I let you win
You win cause i'm not counting
You made it back
To sleep again
Wonder what you're dreaming

the mountain we need to conquer

here we go, chaiyen and her impromptu trip. i think sometimes i do things like this, because i know if i have more time to think about it, it will never happen. this is one of the thing i never thought i will do in my life but heck im hitting the big 3 zero in months, so i better do it now before physical unfitness and age both become a burden. i only have less than 2.5 weeks to prepare for it and it rumoured to be raining season, i was stressed. so you can imagine i prayed out of my desperation. it is a miracle i made it and the weather turned out to be perfect.



the following few photos are what i had to walk through. i had to say every time i looked up, it did look terribly scary...

LESSON NO1:
i think just like life, sometimes the road ahead can look a bit intimidating but i went through it all just fine. on a hindsight, i actually enjoyed it. oh yahh, and the fact that i can eat 8 chocolate bars in the name of "energy bar" was totally cool.






we took the mersilau route and after 6.5 hours, i made it up to laban rata. i can't tell you how excited i was seeing this iconic building.




i love the most the hike up the peak. i walked this path all alone because i left my room a bit late and i was totally glad i did. there were a few moments i was just speechless while i leaned back on the rock. i looked up the sky filled with stars, i couldnt hold my tears as i chat with the one who created all this.



photo: chaiyen

walking alone is not without a cost :) if you take a closer look, i hurt my chin because i was walking alone and i couldnt see the path clearly. it seems to be no end to it because it was dark, i couldnt see the peak. i kept asking porters who passed by me "berapa lama lagi? (how far more)". i remembered the last porter told me "dekat saja. 5 minit (close, 5 more minutes only)". i challenged him again... "betulkah? (really)". i didnt trust him because most of them kept saying it is close... so that we push on. but before i know it, really i was already there. it was so close but i couldnt see it. after 3.5 hours i finally made it up to the peak, just in time for the sunrise. i have to say, i didnt really want to come down that mountain. in my opinion, mt k till date is the most beautiful place in malaysia i have ever seen. totally breathtaking.

LESSON NO2:
some of us are in darkness and it seems that life will never get better, take heart and keep walking we will be on the mountain top before we know it and we shall see sunlight very soon.







LESSON NO3:
mountains in life are meant to be conquered. intimidating, but every time we conquered each of them, we feel a lot greater and confident of ourself. so maybe there are there for a purpose, to strengthen us. impossible is nothing :)

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to anna, the babe in the photo with me, the one who made this whole trip possible for me. i wouldnt have done this, if you are not going with me. thanks for bringing me around kk, it is really serene and beautiful. love the whole experience, including getting to know your family. i was rejuvenated.

all photos courtesy of anna-rina unless indicated. for more scenic photos visit her blog. WARNING: it is breathtaking.

can i come closer?

At some point, you came into my heart
Afraid my heart would be found out
I tried to turn away from you
I didn't know I would feel this way
My heart keeps wavering

What am i to do now?
I can't stop my trembling heart
Even if i close my eyes, you appear before me
With my heart likes this, what can i do
Because of you, i cry and laugh

Now, if there is no you, there would be no me
Can i be with you, together with you?

I feel you eyes on me, it makes my heart thrill
Everyday i have moments of doubt
I didnt know i would feel this way
My heart keeps wavering

What am i to do now?
Can i just come closer like this?
Im missing you
Im only looking at you

What can i do with my heart like this?
Looking only at you, i waver
Now, if there is no you, there would be no me
Can i be together with you?