if i were a boy

im hooked to this song and this music video tells the songs very well.

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the mornin
And throw on what I wanted and go
drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick with who I wanted
And I'd never get confonted for it
Cause they stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they think that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home

[Chorus]

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand (Yeah you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

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it is funny that i have christmas party on the 24th and 26th. while i spent almost the whole christmas day at home. maybe that is a good reminder that christmas is not about parties but HIM. meantime... im a bit overdosed with holidays and this festive season is really not helping. work is piling up and i aint doing anything... you get my point.

attention!

19 - 23 DECEMBER: BANGKOK

24 - 26 DECEMBER: KL
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24 dec: dinner at Paige's place, party at Sherelyn's place
25 dec: church service in the morning...
26 dec: Kevin's place

27 DECEMBER - 2 JANUARY: SINGAPORE
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27 dec:
28 dec: youth service (i cant remember what time)
29 dec:
30 dec:
1 jan: cousin's wedding dinner
2 jan: driving back from singapore

A NOTE TO THE SINGAPOREANS
meant to meet this group of ppl, if u all make it one of those dates up there. let me know.
1. elaine (PIC), shups and girls - we can have a girly night out
2. alvin (PIC), ps and the whole gang, i would like to join if there is any new year's eve gathering or dinner.
3. bong n howe

*ppl above, pls let me know soon when ur free so i can block those dates. if ur not in this list, i just am not sure who is free to meet me with such short notice. give me a buzz.

jealousy

it really depends how much i like you. or maybe how much i think i have you. unless of course im super certain that you are all mine, the insecurity part of me always struggle with this little thing called jealousy. i might not do anything about it, i might not even tell you i feel that because seriously i dont really like that part of me. still this is something i have been trying to work through all these years but mostly fall flat on. of course there are a ransom one or two relationships that i dont feel like that, but on most of those occasions that guy normally took over that role. meaning that he would be rather possessive and jealousy would be his middle name. selfishly, i prefer that. at least i feel that the poison is not in me.

recently, as most of you know im not in a relationship. and so why should this issue bother me at all? it disturbs me, because i kinda get jealous over guys that doesnt even belong to me in the first place. of course it didnt affect me a lot because i dont even know who i like exactly. but the the next thing troubles me even more when i start to realise that i get busy even about what other girlfriends think about me. i really believe that these girls are a lot cooler than that, but some part of me think that their glare says something, that them intercepting into those conversations mean something more than just coincidence, that their girls after all and every girl gets jealous somewhat. not wanting any girl to even start feeling uncomfortable with me. most of the time i just try not to talk to much to those guys.

i seriously think that there is this little voice that always put crazy thoughts like this into me. so nowadays, i try not to entertain those thoughts. i start reminding myself not to think so much, and that favourite phrase works pretty well "if it is mine, it will be mine". probably i dun even want to start any relationship until i totally overcome this sickening trade, but will i ever? i hope so. i hope one day love will help me break free. this probably sums up how i look at potential candidate for now though. refusing to think or excite myself too much... if it is mine, it is mine. so i chant.

selfish indulgence

my jacket went europe without me. yes, she took the flight *jealous*. well at least she brought this back for me. :)



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just found out yesterday that some ppl actually consider traveling as a selfish indulgence. i have to say, i havent learn about traveling until i went to singapore. most young adult singaporean go for at least one holiday a year. never thought that i will use my hard earn money on any of these trips. but seriously it is getting a bit addictive; after every country you go, you feel like you can conquer a far greater one next round. it keeps you excited and gives you a reason to work. i dont shop a lot so i guess i deserve some pampering for my hard work. incidentally, im one darn singaporean... so maybe it just runs in the blood.